Gordon Robinson | The best in living memory

This old-age thingy is a beach. And you WILL get sand in your (er, um, remember it's a family paper) "shoes". Why am I musing on dotage? Well, on December 31, 1953, Mrs Joyce Robinson (nÈe Hall) was dressing and accessorising for a New Year's Eve party when there came a loud knocking inside her womb and floodgates opened. Shortly after midnight, instead of dance floor kisses, I came tumbling out as premature then as I've always been. Or that's what she said.

So, today, as I officially enter geriatrics, New Year's reflections should be especially contemplative. If I could remember them! Mark you, although it's no comfort, this forgetfulness epidemic is as democratic as dengue. Weeks ago, SkullDougery (aka, The Computer Whiz) promised me a new keyboard, as mine suffered from annoying 'sticky-key-syndrome'. Three weeks ago, I remembered to ask him if it was done (I wouldn't know). He replied, "I delivered it to SputNick, the one true son! He should've installed it."

So I attacked SputNick. "Oh, I forgot" he casually countered, "I'll do it today." On December 30, I suffered another sticky-keyboard attack. I called SputNick. "The new keyboard is as bad as the old one" I grumbled. He had the decency to produce a sheepish look: "Oops, I haven't installed it yet."

Don't forget to remember me

and the love that used to be.

I'll be remembering

you my love!

One person I'll always remember is the Old Ball and Chain, who I met at birth (hers not mine) as her parents lived across the road at 17 Gardenia Avenue. She was born on March 26 (a Number 8 day) and lived at a number 8 house, so always needed my protection. I won't forget.

Generally, husbands who remember that their most important obligation is to obey will be forgiven all else. Go ahead, forget anniversary or birthday. She'll be unhappy, but she'll get over it. If you obey! This is why The Terrible Tout's wife is known worldwide as 'She Who Must Be Obeyed (SWMBO for short)'. All lawyers know law must be obeyed and, at home, wifey IS the law. Ask John Mortimer.

They also know the distinction between lawyers and Roosters gives them authority only at work. The difference? A Rooster clucks defiant! Work it out. It's comic.

No roosters allowed in marriage. Only chickens. Or mice. I used to be a man. Then I got married. Now I'm happy to be mouse or chicken as required. Warriors constantly fighting against marriage or another gender don't get it. Humankind wasn't intended to be alone. Partnership (whether labelled marriage or something else) is the most effective tool of life's success and happiness. Nothing succeeds alone.

It's hard to believe brilliant pianist Marjorie Whylie once sung on vinyl, but she did sing backup (with Dawn Forrester) for Adina Edwards on her 1973 Dynamic Records album Soul of Adina, that also featured Boris Gardiner (bass) and Peter Ashbourne (keyboard/violin). This followed Adina's blockbuster 1972 hit single Don't Forget To Remember Me, produced by Tommy Cowan who claims credit for taking her from the corner of Barry and King streets, where the blind musician was singing and playing accordion for tips. Nobody succeeds alone.

So, I'll never forget the source of whatever small success I've achieved in life. That's the Old Ball and Chain who chose me almost 40 years ago and worked assiduously to shape me from an idle blob into the successful family man (but still wannabe idler) you see today. Her work with her three sons (all magnificent men now) is an unparalleled contribution to nation-building. She's simply the world's best wife and mother. I honour her for that and for the memories she's helped make.

The pleasure of spending my declining years with her is all mine. Not that I have a choice. It's that I don't want one.

Peace and love.

- Gordon Robinson is an attorney-at-law. Email feedback to columns@gleanerjm.com.