Carolyn Cooper | KFC selling fake chicken, for real!

Rastas will certainly have a good laugh. They were way ahead of the curve. Ital food, sort of, is now on the menu of popular fast-food joints in the US such as Burger King, Tim Hortons, Dunkin’, Del Taco and White Castle. Believe it or not, KFC, of all brands, has started to sell finger-lickin’ fake chicken! It’s being ­marketed as Beyond Fried Chicken. A California company, Beyond Meat, is partnering with KFC to produce the chicken substitute.

It’s made from soy protein, pea protein, rice flour, carrot fibre, yeast extract, vegetable oils, stabilising agents, salt, onion powder and garlic powder. Plus, the Colonel’s secret ingredients, of course! Beyond Fried Chicken comes as nuggets and boneless wings tossed in Nashville Hot, Buffalo or Honey BBQ sauce. What a thing!

Last Tuesday, KFC tested its vegan chicken in Atlanta. I haven’t figured out why that market was chosen. The company used bright green, instead of red, on the Colonel’s bucket to advertise the new product. There was a line of patrons, two blocks long; and wraparound, bumper-to-bumper traffic in the drive-through. Within five hours, the vegan nuggets and wings sold out. In that short time, customers gobbled up the equivalent of a whole week’s sales of popcorn chicken!

‘FLEXITARIAN CUSTOMERS’

According to a CNBC report posted last Monday, “The Beyond Fried Chicken will be cooked in the same fryers with chicken, which might not adhere to strict vegetarian or vegan diets. The chain said that it is targeting flexitarian customers, people who are trying to cut down on their meat intake.” Technically, a flexitarian is a vegetarian who ­occasionally eats meat; not a meat eater who cuts out meat now and then. I don’t suppose the distinction matters to KFC as long as its ­customers keep eating up its chicken, both real and fake.

KFC has more than 4,000 ­franchises in the US. It’s quite unlikely that Beyond Meat would be able to keep up with a ­nationwide demand for the vegan chicken. Costco, the second largest retailer in the world after Walmart, with more than 500 warehouses in the US, carried Beyond Meat’s burger for a sizzling minute.

One of my friends who lives in Florida sent this email last week: “Went to Costco to stock up on more Beyond Burger. DISCONTINUED!!!!! After THREE WEEKS!!! They told me that Beyond Meat couldn’t keep up with Costco’s volume of sales and they dropped them. HEARTBROKEN!! They are a victim of their own success.”

Beyond Meat’s mission is rather grand, apparently much bigger than its capacity to deliver its products: “At Beyond Meat, we believe there is a better way to feed the planet. Our mission is to create The Future of Protein® – delicious plant-based burgers, sausage, crumbles, and more – made directly from simple plant-based ingredients. By shifting from animal, to plant-based meat, we are creating one savoury solution that solves four growing issues attributed to livestock production: human health, climate change, constraints on natural resources and animal welfare.

BEYOND FAKE MEAT

Why doesn’t it occur to the new breed of flexitarians that they might be much better off eating soybeans, green peas and carrots instead of the fake meat alternative with ‘stabilising agents’ to make it all hang together? It seems as if the idea of meat is so ingrained in their psyche that they absolutely cannot think of plant food as delicious. If we’re really going to save the planet from the long-term consequences of livestock production, we must start seeing meat differently. Fake meat reinforces the idea that meat is an essential element in our diet. Why not just learn to like the taste of plant foods? It’s that simple.

When I became a vegetarian more than 40 years ago, curry goat was my besetting sin. Those days, I was actually a hard-core ­flexitarian, masquerading as a vegetarian. Then I had a revelation that emancipated me from curry goat. It was the curry I liked, not the goat! I still struggle with fish, especially the forbidden parrotfish fried in coconut oil at Aunt Merl’s Fish Place on Hellshire Beach. Big up, Matthew, Maggie, Desreen, Lenton, Maurice and the rest of the crew!

I like to half-jokingly say that in my last life, I was born in India, home to the largest number of ­vegetarians in the world. Dem could tie mi wid Indian vegetarian food. The cuisine is superb, with such variety: lentils, chickpeas, kidney beans, black-eyed peas, mung beans and so much more. And the ­aromatic spices and flavourings: cardamom, cumin, saffron, turmeric, ginger, coriander, cinnamon, clove, on and on! Then the coconut-based sauces! All absolutely delicious! If only carnivores would expose their taste buds to real vegetarian food. They might be so surprised at how good it can be.

I doubt very much that KFC’s vegan chicken would go over big in Jamaica. Too many people are addicted to the real thing. I was recently told about a woman in St Thomas who was ecstatic that ­development was coming to the parish. It wasn’t the long-promised highway. It was a KFC restaurant.