Orville Taylor | Monkey see, monkey do

After the shenanigans of the Benz driver and his cronies making a monkey of the police and the Comrades doing the same to Jake, his ­colleague, and their party, a real member of the lesser primate species turned up in the protected ­neighbourhood of Jack’s Hills.

It is a breed of monkey that I particularly like because it does not have dark skin on its face. In fact, it looks like the Caucasian monks from which they are named. The Capuchin order is typified as wearing a dark brown cassock and hood through which their scantily pigmented faces peered.

Founded in the early 1500s by Franciscan friar Matteo Serafini, this sect of clergymen was part of the European colonial effort that had the mandate to bring civilisation and a white God to the natives in the ‘lesser-developed world’. Capuchin monks’ presence reached as far as India and even Ethiopia. Thus, it is with some limited irony that representatives of a set of humans who considered non-Europeans to be more simian ended up having a monkey named after them.

While it might seem like a welcome comic diversion, a loose capuchin is no monkey business.

It is not a creature that is native or endemic to this island. Therefore, it has no natural predators and could easily outcompete other native animals. In its native South and Central America, it is preyed on by ocelots, tree boas, and eagles. Here, our boas hardly get large enough and are themselves endangered; the predator eagles are only symbolic; and the cats are little pusses.

Even in their natural environments, it is very difficult for their predators to catch them. They live in troupes and have evolved a complex set of sounds and signals that help them to evade danger. In fact, their codes are so sophisticated that different alarms and calls can identify snakes, snakes on the ground, wildcat, or other threats. Nothing here has evolved to keep these unwelcome cousins in check or at bay.

Notoriously sexually active

Inasmuch as they are not ‘stullas’, monkeys are notoriously sexually active, and the Jamaican statement, “is not one time monkey want wife!”, is empirically sound analysis. Monkeys can shoot and reload multiple times within an hour. In short order, if there are fecund females and at least one straight male, the capuchin could spread faster than a false doctrine or discord during a political campaign.

But that is the least of the problems. All monkeys and humans share around 90 per cent of their DNA. Thus the resemblance is not merely superficial. Despite our denials and derisive references to others, the truth is that monkeys are our kin. Dogs might be man’s best friend, but monkeys are our relatives.

Monkeys are hosts to myriad microbes, many of which are unknown and some of which have no impact on their carriers. It is not unlike the danger which Europeans posed to the Tainos here. Many diseases such as smallpox and other benign infections proved catastrophic on the indigenous Jamaicans who ultimately were all but eradicated within two generations. Many monkeys have rabies, a disease still highly fatal to humans.

Monkeys are highly intelligent and capuchins are top of the list. A few can be trained to help persons with disabilities. Nonetheless, they tend to be rambunctious and difficult to tame. They are wild, not domestic animals, even when habituated to humans.

Naturally located in a firm social order where they are under the direct influence of an alpha leader, they show strong territorial behaviour and are very aggressive to other outside monkeys or those who don’t know their place. Children and other humans are prime targets for their sharp teeth and untrammelled attacks.

Now, we don’t know where the monkey came from, and up to press time, the zoo was not claiming it. Truthfully, if it is was a fugitive from the Hope Zoo, it would take it less than a hour to get to where it was caught.

Still, the security and safety issue is only another problem. If the animal was not brought in by the zoo or an authorised importer, he is a participant in one of the most dangerous international contraband trades globally.

Trafficking in wildlife is a multibillion-dollar industry, raking in between US$7 billion and $23 billion annually. It is fourth, behind drugs, humans, and arms. Therefore, apart from all of the environmental perils involved, there is a major threat to our national security. Capuchins are not native to Jamaica. Therefore, if illegally imported, it means that some criminal in Central or South America is linking up with criminal elements here.

Bringing in a cute, little monkey or another exotic pet is no joke. Generally, the munchkins turn into gremlins and they are let loose.

South Florida is reeling under an epidemic of Burmese pythons, tegu lizards, green iguanas, and venomous snakes not native to the area.

Just imagine that if one is able to smuggle in a monkey, when will one get so daring as to want to import a black mamba, rattlesnake, or Gila monster?

So, we have had our fun, and thankfully, NEPA has caught him. Hopefully, it is the only one. Nevertheless, there is nothing funny about a non-native wild animal running free in our country.

This is not just an environmental matter; it is a police issue. And no public admission of guilt should mitigate any punishment. Criminals learn from others and ape situations where they can get away with their deviant behaviours. Indeed, monkey see, monkey do.

Dr Orville Taylor is head of the Department of Sociology at the UWI, a radio talk-show host, and author of ‘Broken Promises, Hearts and Pockets’. Email feedback to columns@gleanerjm.com and tayloronblackline@hotmail.com.