Daniel Thwaites | Cyaapeting us with promises

Democracy is, in theory, a grand enterprise where ordinary citizens deliberate on the niceties of policy and choose to grant power so that those policies are advanced. In reality it is turning out to be something different: a buying and selling operation.

This time around seems particularly severe as we’re being cyaapeted with promises. I suspect it is due to the startling success of the “1.5” three-card trick from the last election. That’s the one that wasn’t going to require any new taxation, but ended up triggering billions in new taxes and the infamous “phase it eeeen” from Audley before Andrew just tek time “phase him ooooout”.

Citizens – well, the voting citizens, at any rate – are being actively courted by the politicians who are like ladies of the night advertising their wares and promising what a fantastic and good time will be had if only you, the voter, make the right choice. Maybe that’s the wrong analogy, because you can count on the ladies to deliver.

It’s more like suitors declaring an interest in a pretty girl. So now you have to determine if their interests are pure, or if this is a smash-and-dash situation. As we know from countless novels and films, and from copious experience from real life, this is when the ardent pursuer begins to make promises, although that word has fallen into disfavour and been abandoned in favour of “commitments”. Same thing.

As an aside, one wonders why the Jamaica Progressive Party (JPP) pulled out of the election when it has devolved into a promising competition, something they would have aced. At least the JPP were promising funding from overseas for their projects. And let’s not forget that they had the greatest and most ineffable funding source, manna from the Heavens. Bishop Gilbert Alexander Edwards, our modern Bedward, stood a better chance of flying towards heaven to gather manna and return than the likelihood of some of what we’re hearing from the traditional promisers.

CALCULATING HOW TO LEVERAGE

With an economy that was sputtering-out in 2019 pre-COVID-19, and which has gone into free-fall due to the pandemic, both JLP and PNP have been calculating how to leverage, and beggar, the country spectacularly.

How to enumerate the promises? One says they will subsidise your light and water bill, the other that they will bail out every business, send your children to daycare. One says “we will build thousands of houses”, the other says “we will build more” and, for good measure, throws in an innovative “rent to own” plan. Just so you know, the JPP had said they would build a million. So chat to mi!

Neither side seems particularly anxious to explain where the money will come from for all the goodies. The PNP points to Government’s annual “discretionary spending”, but doesn’t say what it will cut. The JLP hasn’t even offered that little bit of explanation, so it’s a complete mystery, particularly in the distressed COVID-19 economy.

I see all this as the natural and expected consequence of the tremendous come-from-behind ‘one-point-five’ victory in 2016. The PNP certainly don’t plan to be slouches when it comes to the ‘promising-game’ this time around. And insofar as there is a PR war regarding the impact of the commitments and the curiosity they have aroused, it’s hard to beat the water and light bill support.

Not to mention that now that both parties have washed their hands in NHT blood and tasted its juicy delights, there was zero chance of them not finding ways to hatch plans prefaced on spending more of it.

I already noted that this is like being courted by ardent lovers. So it’s worth recalling that the law used to have a “breach of promise” cause of action. We hardly remember nowadays, but until quite recently many ladies who had been tricked into “relations” with suitors, based on promises, could seek redress if the man took her goods and ran off in the other direction.

NOT ACCEPTABLE

The idea, no doubt, was that it’s not acceptable to come along, sweep a girl off her feet, whisper sweet nothings in her ears, then after she give you the nod, you have your fun then treat her like yesterday’s news. Mind you, this was in pre-feminist times when the law had a remedy to the question/complaint: “Why yuh dweet jankrow?”

So let me highlight a promise or two I want kept by whomever ascends to the royal purple and seizes the Iron Throne.

Back in 2016, Mr Holness threw out some heady “commitments”. I quote:

“The time to change the system to a fixed election date is now. The time to change the system to a fixed election date is now. Within our first 100 days of Government we will start the legislative process to fix the date for general elections in Jamaica. This will bring greater certainty to the political process. And by the way, the date will be a date after the budget and not before. So no government will be able to come and make false promises and hide the truth and tell you half-truths and trick you into voting for them, and then when dem win dem throw on poison pon yuh!”

My word! How prescient. Again, he said:

“Within the first one hundred days of our government we will start the legislative process to institute … and I want yuh listen to me carefully – impeachment proceedings in Parliament. This will add another layer of protection of the Parliament to ensure that only members of unquestioned integrity sit in Parliament.”

Still listening carefully and searching for that one bredda Andrew. One more: “Within the first 100 days of government we will start the legislative process to introduce term limits on the office of prime minister.”

These promises were Chinese construction, lasting about as long as the cyaapet did after the first rains. For them and the cyaapet, is there hope for repair?

- Daniel Thwaites is an attorney-at-law. Email feedback to columns@gleanerjm.com