Gordon Robinson | International Domino Awards 2021

These twelfth annual Domino Awards (International Version) are inspired by the Khooky Khast of Kharacters from Gene Autry’s domino table starring that happy-go-lucky idler, the Dunce.

International Dunce Award: Far right conservative conspiracy theorist and all-around whackjob MARJORIE TAYLOR-GREENE’s wild public statements included that Jewish space lasers caused California wildfires; COVID is a “bio-weapon”; and the USA Justice Department believes that parents were “domestic terrorists”. Sigh.

But why go on. Her own party stripped her of all committee appointments one month after she assumed office as a congresswoman.

From the Dunce to Marjorie: “If a macca, mek it jook yu!”

International Dunce Move of the Year Award:

Boris Johnson experienced so many embarrassments, so shouldn’t he know better than to greet the latest Downing Street COVID party revelations with another delaying tactic? He called for an “investigation”.

Jeez! No. 10 is where he works and lives!

In less than two years since his landslide election win:

• Barnard Castle scandal: Then chief aide Dominic Cummings travelled across the UK with suspected COVID-19 while the government urged citizens to “stay at home”.

Cummings, supported by BoJo, gave the extraordinary explanation that his family ended up at Barnard Castle after taking a short car journey to test his eyesight. DWL!

• Paterson Protection: Parliamentary Commissioner for Standards found Tory MP Owen Paterson had breached lobbying rules by “repeatedly” using his position as MP “to promote the companies by whom he was paid”.

BoJo ordered MPs to back a new Tory-majority committee to investigate the “process” that found Paterson guilty while putting his looming suspension on hold. After a huge backlash, Paterson resigned.

• Wallpaper-gate: The Daily Mail queried who footed BoJo’s Downing Street flat-refurbishing bill, including £840-a-roll wallpaper.

Downing Street initially stonewalled enquiries about whether a millionaire Tory peer had been secretly asked to pay. BoJo eventually settled the bill himself.

• BoJo unmasked: Photos emerged of a maskless BoJo meeting health-service staff while touring a Northumbrian hospital.

The PM’s spokesman initially said: “During a hospital visit … he’ll have been abiding by the rules in place.” Eight days later, BoJo apologised.

• Kissing Hancock: A video of Health Secretary Matt Hancock breaching COVID regulations by kissing an aide leaked. Hancock initially said he had “let people down” and was “very sorry”.

BoJo said he “considers the matter closed”. Hancock later resigned following a backlash.

• Mustique Mystique: BoJo stayed in a Mustique luxury villa with then girlfriend (now wife) during a Christmas Caribbean trip.

In the Parliamentary Register of Members’ Financial Interests, BoJo named close friend David Ross as the donor of the £15,000 trip. But Ross said he helped organise it but paid nothing. After a lengthy investigation, during which the Parliamentary Standards Committee said it was “unusually difficult to find facts”, BoJo was cleared of impropriety.

• Animals of Farthing scandal: A whistleblower alleged that Johnson issued an “instruction” ensuring that 173 dogs and cats were rescued from Afghanistan during its chaotic evacuation. Some argued that Pen Farthing’s animal shelter’s pets were getting priority over people trying to escape.

BoJo denied intervention. But a letter (subsequently read out during Parliamentary questioning) to Farthing from Johnson’s aide Trudy Harrison said he had been authorised to proceed with the evacuation. A No. 10 spokesperson said the letter was unrelated to Harrison’s role as Johnson’s parliamentary private secretary but had been written as MP.

The Dunce wants to know if BoJo learned nothing from these experiences. If a macca, mek it jook yu!

The Archbishop’s Award for International Personality of the Year:

To say this was a challenging year with leadership severely tested, and, generally, found wanting, would be a monumental understatement.

For me, no international leader shone brighter than Mia Mottley. At 50 per cent fully vaccinated, Barbados is second only (regionally) to Antigua and miles ahead of Jamaica’s second-to-last 20 per cent. Every nation is responsible to quickly achieve “herd immunity” by any means necessary. The WHO targeted 40 per cent fully vaccinated by December 31 for all, regardless of population. Unlike others, Jamaica inexplicably avoids justifiable and necessary vaccine mandates.

Also, Mia Mottley took the lead at international fora on vital issues like climate change, economic and technological inequality, racism and unfair COVID-19 vaccine distribution. Oh, and she abandoned the British Monarchy.

Peace and Love!

Gordon Robinson is an attorney-at-law. Email feedback to columns@gleanerjm.com.