Michael Abrahams | tWitch’s death should be a reminder

Stephen Laurel ‘tWitch’ Boss had an exciting life. Many of his fans came to know him when he appeared on and finished second in the American version of ‘So You Think You Can Dance’ in 2008. Later, from 2014 until May 2022, he was co-executive producer of ‘The Ellen DeGeneres Show’, where he was a regular guest host. He also starred in several films, including three in the ‘Step Up’ series and had millions of social media followers. tWitch appeared to be living his best life…until he decided to end it.

His death sent shock waves worldwide, blindsiding his fans and leaving them grieving and surprised. However, as American pastor and author John Pavlovitz wrote:

“Those of us who live with chronic depression are never surprised when someone outwardly filled with light leaves prematurely. We know there is often zero correlation between a person’s outward appearance and their internal condition. We perform.”

Pavlovitz hit the proverbial nail on the head. The correlation between a person’s outward appearance and how they feel inside is inconsistent. Yes, some people who live with depression may have negative auras and energies that you detect when they are in your presence. But in too many cases, you will not know what is happening in their minds. And tWitch was an excellent example of this. He was constantly smiling, laughing, dancing, entertaining and bringing joy to others. In fact, on his Instagram page, he referred to himself as a “SmileSpreader”. And what a smile spreader he was, bringing joy to his millions of fans. So how could someone so full of beautiful energy and effervescence decide to terminate their existence?

POORLY UNDERSTOOD

The fact that so many are perplexed by tWitch’s suicide indicates how poorly understood depression is. Clinical depression is not a mood or a feeling. It is not merely being sad. It is a medical condition with well-recognised diagnostic criteria, including the persistence of a low mood, lethargy, impaired concentration and memory, irritability, decreased libido, increased or decreased appetite, insomnia or sleeping too much, low self-esteem and loss of interest or pleasure in normally enjoyable activities, for at least two weeks. But you cannot rely on someone’s outward appearance to know if they are experiencing these symptoms.

There is no face of hypertension, diabetes, and many other physical conditions. For example, Tom Hanks and Halle Berry have diabetes, but if they did not tell us, we would not know. The same goes for Toni Braxton and her hypertension. Similarly, there is no face of depression and other mood disorders, such as anxiety, bipolar disorder, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Chester Bennington (of the rock band Linkin Park), Avicii, Naomi Judd, Robin Williams, and Anthony Bourdain entertained us while battling their demons. If Katy Perry and Lady Gaga did not open up about having depression, we would be oblivious. The abusive boss, the withdrawn co-worker, the uncle who is always cracking jokes and laughing heartily at family gatherings, and the pastor who comforts his congregants and is a rock for them may all be afflicted.

Many do not understand that just as there are varying stages of cancer, there are varying levels of severity of many illnesses, and depression is no exception. Living with depression does not always mean suffering from it. Persons who have the disorder do not necessarily walk around teary-eyed and with long faces. Many, like tWitch and others you see apparently living their lives unencumbered, have what is commonly referred to as high-functioning depression. They function effectively despite having the condition continuously lurking in the background, waiting on an opportunity, such as a trigger, to rear its ugly head and wreak mental havoc. And the triggers vary in magnitude, from major events such as the loss of someone close, or the loss of a job, to seeing a news item relating to a situation similar to one you faced in childhood that traumatised you.

FATAL

Another fact lost on many is that mood disorders such as depression can be fatal. One of the greatest fears people have when they receive a diagnosis of cancer is that of death. Cancer terrifies people. Some are afraid to even say the word, referring to it as ‘the big C’. But depression and other mood disorders have the potential to be fatal too, as they can result in suicide. But even without suicide, depression can send you to an early grave via other mechanisms of action. Social isolation and neglect of self can combine to contribute to poor overall health and a decrease in life expectancy.

tWitch’s death serves as a reminder that depression has no face. It lurks in the minds of millions of our brothers and sisters. Be kind. You do not know what many around you are going through. There are many, at this moment, on the edge and on the verge of jumping and crossing over to the other side. Check in on not just your lonely and sad friends, but also on your ‘strong’ friends, too.

Michael Abrahams is an obstetrician and gynaecologist, social commentator and human-rights advocate. Send feedback to columns@gleanerjm.com and michabe_1999@hotmail.com, or follow him on Twitter @mikeyabrahams.