Kristen Gyles | Recognising that men suffer sexual harassment too

One 26-year-old man who was identified as ‘Jamal’ in a local newspaper related his experience working with a ‘cougar’ who wouldn’t leave him alone. She would oftentimes force an interaction with him by calling him to do things for her even when it wasn’t necessary. On one occasion when she called him into her office, she pulled up her skirt and sat with her legs wide open. According to Jamal, she wasn’t wearing any underwear.

This specific type of case is one that requires more attention than it currently gets. Sexual harassment goes both ways. We know that women account for the vast majority of victims in sexual harassment cases, but we can’t be very definitive about the extent of the disparity between the numbers of male victims and female victims because so many men are reluctant to speak about their experiences with sexual harassment.

Jamal’s case is somewhat extreme and might not occur very often. However, even much more subtle advances, when unwanted and recurring, can be classified as sexual harassment.

There has been a historical tendency to downplay the effects of sexual harassment and sexual assault on males. This is partly due to the traditional gender stereotype that synonymies men with brick walls and associates masculinity with strength, stoicism, and an immunity to female-inflicted harm. Consequently, when a male faces either sexual assault or sexual harassment, there is oftentimes a societal pressure to downplay the incident or dismiss the impact on him as the victim.

SEVERE EFFECTS

But sexual harassment can have severe and lasting effects regardless of gender. Men, like women, can experience physical, emotional, and psychological trauma, arising from sexual harassment, especially within the context of a clear power imbalance.

One of the most significant factors helping to diminish the perceived seriousness of sexual harassment against males is the ‘gyalis’ culture. In the Jamaican society, there is an unwritten rule that men do not refuse sexual advances from women. In fact, the greater the number of sexual advances a man receives, and the greater the number of women he receives them from, the more notorious he is as a ‘gyalis’. This is why one artiste was able to boast that he has “nuff gyal, and gyal inna bungle”.

In any case, many men have chosen not to adopt this culture and even where they have, they might still be self-respecting enough to want to exercise at least some control over their sexual encounters.

Some women are yet to break free from the delusion that has them thinking their desired man must want them and must accept their sexual advances. Groping, chest-rubbing, bottom-squeezing and (wo)manhandling of any other kind is inappropriate where such behaviour was not solicited. It goes beyond inappropriate and rises to the level of just flat-out ‘weird’ when such behaviours are exhibited towards random male strangers, supposedly as a sign of attraction. Although the intention might not be to cause intimidation, embarrassment, or discomfort, this is sometimes the case.

Unfortunately, many males have testified over the years to the fact that they have faced sexual harassment but have never spoken up about it. However, as women, our superpower is a special kind of emotional intelligence that should enable us to act in accordance with tact, discretion and sensitivity even where it isn’t explicitly requested of us. It certainly isn’t very discreet or mannerly to go around fondling the crotches of random men.

SAME FACTORS

We should also remember that the same factors which cause a woman to shy away from reporting an incident of sexual harassment are often equally as applicable to men. There is, in many cases, a fear of the potential victimisation that could ensue after a report is made. Further, there’s the age-old issue of victim blaming, in which the victim is likely to be told that they simply didn’t do enough to prevent their harassment.

So, what can we do? Thankfully, we now have a gender-neutral Sexual Harassment (Protection and Prevention) Act, 2021, which has been in effect since July 3 of this year. But legislation can only go so far and no further if it conflicts with an embedded culture which opposes it. The culture unfortunately affects the police (as it does the rest of society) and in many cases, the police do not take reports of sexual harassment seriously, especially when coming from males.

This is something that we can change. Even if the culture surrounding males and sexual harassment isn’t immediately changed on a wide scale, we can do something to ensure that the police and other law enforcement agents are trained to be unbiased and unprejudiced when dealing with the issue of sexual harassment.

On the other hand, men and boys must speak up where they face the discomfort of sexual harassment. It is difficult for one to claim they have been harassed if they failed to indicate their displeasure with the actions which constituted the harassment. One good thing arising from the Sexual Harassment Act is that it should encourage clear and unambiguous communication between men and women. Where an intention is too crass to be stated explicitly, it perhaps shouldn’t be stated at all.

Kristen Gyles is a free-thinking public affairs opinionator. Send feedback to kristengyles@gmail.com.