Gordon Robinson | Jimmy Hunchback lives!

Decades before Emancipation Day was declared, Gene Autry and I found ourselves, one Friday at midnight, playing dominoes against Dr. S. Blanc, self-styled Senior Lecturer in the Faculty of Domino, and Jimmy Hunchback.

Jimmy, long ago emancipated from common sense, was simultaneously the worst and luckiest domino player we knew. No matter how hard he tried to lose a game it would miraculously be gifted to him. In this particular game, Blanc played six twice. On the second occasion I played ace at the other end for the second time. Both my plays were compulsory. Jimmy held six-ace. Naturally he turned domino sense upside down by playing two aces. Unbelievably, Autry passed and Blanc had two of the outstanding aces. Even though my double-ace was saved we lost the game.

Haemorrhoid, who also had nothing better to do on a Friday night, was kibitzing. He immediately insisted on telling a shaggy dog tale about a depressed pharmacist.

“A pharmacist is sitting at a bar staring at his drink when a large trouble-making biker sits next to him; grabs his drink; and downs it in one swallow.

‘What ya gonna do about it?’ the biker sneers menacingly as the Pharmacist bursts into tears.

‘This has been the worst day of my life’ the Pharmacist blubbers ‘I’m a complete failure.’

The Pharmacist wipes away tears before continuing ‘I was late to a meeting. My boss fired me. When I reached the parking lot I saw my car was stolen. I don’t have insurance. I left my wallet in the cab home. When I arrived unexpectedly, I found my wife with another man. My dog bit me as I opened the front door.’

‘Sounds like you should be writing a country song’ the biker chortled.

‘It gets worse. I came to this bar to work up the courage to end it all. I bought a drink and put a capsule in it. I’m sitting here watching the poison dissolve when you show up and drink the whole thing. But that’s enough about me. How’s your day going?’”

I remembered Haemorrhoid’s morbid shaggy dog tale while reading about Corporal Rohan James’ saga.

At a funeral for a fallen colleague, James, as Police Federation Chairman, harangued High Command regarding alleged foot-dragging on the implementation of a Court order to facilitate outstanding overtime payments. This was, in my opinion, perfectly in order.

But, seemingly carried away by the sound of his own voice, James issued a specific threat. This wasn’t a threat of industrial action which also would’ve been okay. He was widely quoted as saying “Mark my word and I also want to say to the High Command and our Commissioner, God help you if the membership is not paid their overtime this month.”

That was a bridge too far.

That isn’t a promise to protect Federation members by all available legal means. That was a specific threat to specific officers including the Commissioner of Police (COP) to take action AGAINST THEM with which only God would be able to help them. Since some police personnel often treat mostly under privileged and vulnerable citizens brutally thus earning JCF a reputation for lawlessness that this Commissioner has been working tirelessly to dispel, THIS was, at least, inappropriate.

So I expected James to bear the brunt of public disapproval for his intemperate remarks. Before this could happen, COP swooped in using Mjöllnir, instead of Jean/Nate Grey’s more apt psychic abilities to batter the corporal into submission. James was interdicted; sent on three-quarters pay suspension; stripped of police credentials; and figuratively beaten to a pulp.

So, no surprise, this has resolved nothing. It aggravated rank and file JCF members and transferred public sympathy to James. Suddenly, NOBODY thinks James was intemperate or rude. EVERYBODY is rooting for him.

Then of course, a PNP that hasn’t met a public relations advantage it can’t destroy, jumped anxiously into the fray, calling for the interdiction to be rescinded. This is unadulterated, unnecessary, undisciplined political interference. Messages of support would be fine; actual support for a legal challenge even better. Trying to tell the police what to do after complaining about a visitor whose release from custody was reportedly recently massaged by Minister Horace is just plain stupid.

Jimmy Hunchback would be proud of all involved in this boomerang contest. So, my Emancipation Day wish for readers is that they emancipate themselves from tribal politics; vitriolic verbosity; or retaliatory overkill. Choose common sense instead.

Peace and Love.

Gordon Robinson is an attorney-at-law. Send feedback to columns@gleanerjm.com