Gordon Robinson | More ‘bullying’ to come

Gene Autry and I were in trouble playing against Dessie and The Dunce.

With the score five-five, we drew weak hands while Dessie held four pieces of trey including double-trey. The Dunce drew the other three. Dessie broke a fundamental domino rule. I posed double-six; he played six-trey. The rule? With that holding, you shouldn’t voluntarily lead away from your double. Autry was forced to play six-blank. The Dunce played trey-five.

Hmmmmm. Obviously Dessie held double-trey and The Dunce was void of blanks. To cut a long story short, Autry manoeuvred it that The Dunce’s treys were used to kill Dessie’s double-trey and we sneaked home.

Dessie was livid. “Why yu always cutting my card? We have all di power in dat hand!” The Dunce insisted all his plays were compulsory and closed the argument philosophically:

If a macca, mek it jook yu!

Permanent spectator, Haemorrhoid, stopped complaining about “piles and piles” of files on his desk and launched one of his shaggy dog tales. Warning: Haemorrhoid’s tales resemble Beatles hit Long and Winding Road.

“Three vampire brothers decided to hold a competition to see which of them is the most powerful. The first brother was the strongest.

‘Watch this’ he said and took off at nearly 100 miles per hour. Ten minutes later he returned his mouth covered in blood.

‘What happened?!’ his brothers exclaimed.

‘You see that mansion over there?’

‘Yeah?’

‘Well, I went over there and sucked each and every last family member dry. They’re all dead.’

‘Wow!’ his brothers said. ‘You are the strongest.’

The second brother to go was the oldest.

‘Watch and learn, boys’ he said and took off at 150 mph. Five minutes later he returned, mouth and neck covered in blood.

‘What happened?!’ his brothers exclaimed.

‘You see that village over there?’

‘Uh-huh?’

‘Well I killed every last person in the entire village. There’s not one alive.’

‘Wow!’ his brothers were awestruck. ‘You are definitely the most experienced.’

The third brother was the fastest. Not to be outdone, he said ‘Watch this. Don’t blink. You might miss it.’ He flew off faster than the rest at 200 mph.

In only ten seconds he returned. His entire mouth, nose, and neck were covered in so much blood it stained the front of his shirt.

‘What happened?!’ his brothers exclaimed.

‘You see that giant tree over there?’

‘...Yeah?’

‘Well I sure flippin’ didn’t.’”

When Haemorrhoid got up from rolling on the floor laughing at his own joke he told Dessie power wasn’t always about who was stronger or faster but who refused to be distracted from the task of devising strategies for success.

I remembered Haemorrhoid’s tall tale when Constitutional Reform Committee (CRC) member Nadeen Spence complained bitterly she felt “bullied” by Civil Society Advocacy Groups.

Sob. Poor thing….

That exposed her chronic misunderstanding of the power dynamics associated with bullying. Where Government handpicks 14 individuals (including six parliamentarians; at least two more Government Officials) chaired by the Constitutional Affairs Minister to recommend changes to We the People’s Constitution; where these individuals meet in secret; where Minister announces “consensus” and a Bill will be laid in six weeks; where, under public pressure, redacted minutes are published weeks late, it’s beyond silly to call civil society distrust resulting in civil society pushback “bullying”.

Who is bullying whom?

This entire process is a farce. These individuals meet on We the People’s business. Every such meeting of Parliament; every meeting of every parliamentary committee is live streamed. WHY aren’t CRC meetings live streamed? WHOSE private business are they discussing?

Any constitutional reform process depends on credibility and trust. The former breeds the latter. This process lost credibility from the outset when Minister Marlene let slip it was a sham set up to whitewash pre-determined Government action. Now that well bred and nurtured distrust is showing they complain they’re bullied? KMT. If it wasn’t for civil society pushback, we’d already have swapped a White King for a Black King and be pressing on regardless as if all was copasetic.

I suggest Nadeen and her colleagues pay attention to their jobs which doesn’t involve a contest with civil society groups but a responsibility to listen and, where possible, learn from their constructive critique. She may’ve been fooled by the non-consultative circumstances of her selection to CRC (and Government’s initial dismissive attitude to external consultation) into believing CRC oughtn’t to be argued with by civil society.

If that’s the case, Nadeen, brace yourself for more “bullying”.

Peace and Love.

Gordon Robinson is an attorney-at-law. Send feedback to columns@gleanerjm.com