Gordon Robinson | Learn from your history

Playing Gene Autry’s rules (double-six then the holder of double-six poses), Dessie drew bareback double-six (i.e. his only six) so posed double-five.

Gene, second-in-hand, played five-six and the Dunce, after thought, played six-deuce. “Is mad yu mad?” Dessie exclaimed. The Dunce was his usual self “Relax man. Me know what me is doing. If a macca mek it jook yu!”

Later on Gene played a second six to the Dunce (deuce at the other end) who cut it again. Steam was visibly rising from Dessie’s head. He muttered in a voce not very sotto “Is three against one. Sin side!” It wasn’t long before six and deuce returned to The Dunce who slaughtered his partner’s double-six without the slightest appearance of remorse. As it turned out, the Dunce drew five deuces and wanted to win by himself but Dessie was never able to pass Gene so we won.

After Dessie threatened his brother with a slow, painful death perennial spectator, Haemorrhoid, stopped complaining about “piles and piles” of files on his desk and asked permission to tell a “dumb-blonde” shaggy dog tale. The game needed cooling down and we knew Haemorrhoid’s stories took forever with many unnecessary details so we agreed to listen:

“A brunette woman was walking along a set of railroad tracks, repeating to herself, ‘42, 42, 42. 42, 42, 42.’ A blonde woman saw her and asked, ‘What are you doing?’

‘I’m just walking along a railroad track saying 42, 42, 42,’ replied the brunette.

‘Can I join you?’

‘Sure.’

So the two women walked along the track repeating, ‘42, 42, 42. 42, 42, 42.’

Another blonde saw them and asked, ‘What are you doing?’

‘Just walking along a railroad track saying 42, 42, 42,” replied the brunette.

‘Can I join you?’

‘Sure’. Now there were three women walking along the track repeating ‘42, 42, 42. 42, 42, 42’ A third blonde saw them and asked, ‘What are you doing?’

‘Just walking along a railroad track saying 42, 42, 42’ replied the brunette.

‘Can I join you?’

‘Sure.’ Now there were four women walking along the track repeating, ‘42, 42, 42, 42, 42, 42’

Just then, the brunette heard a rumbling sound. She looked behind and saw a train. She jumped off the track to save herself, but the blondes weren’t so lucky. They were struck by the train and killed instantly.

As soon as the train had gone, the brunette got back on the track and said, ‘45, 45, 45...’”

It was only left for Haemorrhoid to remind the Dunce of Einstein’s definition of lunacy (doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result). I’d reason to ruminate on Einsteinian lunacy during some of today’s ridiculous political hustings.

Any PNP reality check will reveal that Michael Manley is the only PNP Opposition Leader to win a General Election. He did it twice with inspirational leadership proposing inspirational policy. I know there’s a rumour Portia won the 2011 election as Opposition Leader but another reality check will reveal she didn’t. Bruce Golding won it for her with his defence of Dudus followed by resignation shortly before election. Independent, clear thinkers understand the proof of that particular pudding is that Portia lost TWO electrons as sitting Prime Minister.

Four JLP Opposition Leaders won General Elections. They are Alexander Bustamante; Edward Seaga; Bruce Golding; and Andrew Holness. They all used the Michael Manley Method (or, maybe Michael used “the Busta Method”). Busta won on charisma and ideology (“We are with the West”) riding on the wave of his West Indian Federation Referendum victory. Seaga won on ideology (Capitalism vs fear of communism; “It takes cash to care”). Bruce Golding won on charisma as well as the promise of a “new vision” (“We are too rich to be so poor, too gifted to be so restricted, too blessed to be so stressed and too anointed to be so disappointed”). Holness won on charisma coupled with promise of “prosperity” driven by a less-tax (“the 1.5”) policy made to a people crippled by the shock of sudden fiscal responsibility.

Every recent opinion poll shows PNP/JLP in a statistical dead heat but Mark Golding’s approval rating significantly below Andrew Holness’. Blind, tribal Comrades will ignore these warnings and spin them like gigs until they fall flaccidly to the ground. Thinking Comrades know they must learn from PNP’s political history; find a way to make their leader inspirational; or find an inspirational leader; or repeat that history.

Peace and Love.

Gordon Robinson is an attorney-at-law. Send feedback to columns@gleanerjm.com