Basil Jarrett | Teaching parenting: A new curriculum is needed

I BELIEVE I speak for most parents when I say that my approach to parenting has been shaped mainly by my own personal observations and experiences, and a fair share of trial and error. Through a combination of acquired wisdom (that comes with age), a grasp of what’s right and wrong, and good old-fashioned common sense, many of us view parenting as a journey where we often improvise and adapt, hoping that our methods won’t be discredited by modern psychologists as being the root of all of society’s current problems.

It can get extremely confusing. Do I teach the baby independence, self-reliance and how to self-soothe by leaving him unattended to cry it out? Or do I run and pick him up to reassure him that there is safety, love and comfort in his home? For me the answer is simple. If it’s a girl, you pick her up and reassure her that daddy will destroy anything or anyone that tries to harm her. If it’s a boy, well, suck it up, Buster. Crying never killed anyone. See what I mean about trial and error? Years from now I’ll be left wondering why he doesn’t call me on my birthday.

TEACHING PARENTING

But in all seriousness, I find myself in full agreement with Kaysia Kerr’s recent remarks on the critical role effective parenting plays in our society. Kerr, the chief executive officer of the National Parenting Support Commission, was speaking at the launch of National Parent Month two Wednesdays ago, highlighting data from the Social Development Commission that underscores the pressing need for a comprehensive re-examination of how we treat parenting education in Jamaica. More precisely, Kerr has called for the introduction of parenting education in our schools as part of the formal curriculum.

You see, the breakdown of the family unit is undoubtedly one of Jamaica’s most pressing problems. With many children growing up without strong parental guidance and role models, it’s no wonder that we’re witnessing a rise in maladaptive behaviours and crime. The family is the first and most influential institution in a child’s life, and when it falters, it leaves a void that societal ills are more than willing to fill.

UNLEARNING THE PAST

By including parenting education in our school curriculum, we can begin to instil a sense of responsibility, empathy, and effective communication in future parents, as well as a knowledge-based approach towards parenting. Many persons who struggle with ineffective parenting learnt these behaviours from their own families and their own upbringing, and we see where that has landed us.

When parents are empowered with knowledge and support, however, they are more likely to be more effective in their roles. It’s like learning to drive. Of course you can learn by observing what is gas, what is brake and what is the purpose of that third pedal, but nothing beats months of careful driving instruction. It’s the same with parenting.

SOLUTIONS ORIENTED

Now, I hear some of you typing furiously in the comments section, “…But Major, just the other day, you wanted us to introduce civics to the school curriculum. Now you want to teach parenting? How on earth are we going to fit these additional subjects into an already-long school day?”

These are valid concerns. But 12 years in the military has taught me to never raise a problem without having a solution. It is important to recognise that while these additional courses may place increased burdens on the school system, we already have existing structures that can play a significant supportive role in bridging the gaps to support this initiative. Yes, I’m looking at you, school PTAs and alumni associations. Both bodies are already established in many schools across Jamaica and are well positioned to be a driving force in advancing parenting education as a value-added.

PARENT-TEACHER ASSOCIATIONS

PTAs can organise parenting workshops and seminars, and invite experts to provide guidance on effective parenting practices. These workshops can offer practical advice and create a supportive network for parents who, like me, choose to let the baby cry out. PTAs can help raise funds or secure resources for the implementation of parenting education programmes within the school, which could include acquiring educational materials, inviting speakers, or supporting extracurricular activities that promote positive family dynamics.

ALUMNI ASSOCIATIONS

Alumni associations who have a vested interest in the success of their alma maters, beyond just sports and trophies that is, can also contribute to this initiative in various ways. Old boys, old girls and alumni can serve as mentors to current students, providing them with positive role models and guidance, as well as emphasising the importance of having and creating strong family values through effective parenting. Alumni also often have the resources and connections to contribute financially to their former schools, so why not redirect some of this financial support towards parenting education initiatives and resources?

Both PTAs and alumni associations, by virtue of having a constitutional right to a seat on school boards, should begin to leverage their position, influence and networks to advocate for the inclusion of parenting education in the school curriculum – and not only in their alma maters, but also in the broader education system. By harnessing the collective power and influence of PTAs and alumni associations, we can create a collaborative and synergistic effort to strengthen the family unit and promote better, more effective parenting.

If it seems I’m placing a lot on the shoulders of both these stakeholder groups, then that’s because I am. It’s easy to sit back and complain about the state of affairs in our country, without realising that we ourselves can be the solution. How do I know this? Years of learning to self-soothe I suppose.

Major Basil Jarrett is a communications strategist and CEO of Artemis Consulting, a communications consulting firm specialising in crisis communications and reputation management. Follow him on Twitter, Instagram, Threads @IamBasilJarrett, and linkedin.com/in/basiljarrett.