Kristen Gyles | Giving thanks for burnt toast

On the night before the 9/11 terrorist attacks, an investment banker ran into car trouble while driving through Central Park in New York. Apparently, the transmission of his new BMW got stuck in first gear and he needed to get it checked out. He showed up to the BMW car dealership the following morning at around 7 a.m., hoping to get the repairs done quickly so that he could make it to an 8 a.m. meeting at the World Trade Center.

Anyway, he ended up having to wait for an hour because the mechanics refused to work before 8 a.m. when they were scheduled to begin working. The man had to wait one hour to get a five-minute job done, but that one-hour wait saved his life.

After finally getting the repair done, he raced to get to the office as soon as he could but was further delayed in traffic. It was while he was sitting in his car, stuck in the traffic, that he saw the Twin Towers in the distance, with thick plumes of smoke coming from the top. Shortly after, he heard on the radio that a plane had crashed into the North Tower.

The man’s name is George Keith. He went home that day happy that his car had decided to give a little trouble just when it did.

BURNT TOAST THEORY

His story is a good case study for the ‘burnt toast’ theory. The burnt toast theory is the idea that in many situations that present unexpected setbacks or disappointments, we are actually being spared some greater harm, or being prepared for some pivotal event in our lives. The burnt toast theory is so named because when someone burns their toast in the morning while rushing out to work, they are forced to throw it away and make new toast, creating a delay. That delay is usually enough to get them complaining about how their day is already off to a bad start, when in fact, it could be what saves them from an impending car accident or encounter with an armed criminal at the stoplight.

The burnt toast theory says there are minor setbacks that we sometimes need to go through in order to end up at the right place at the right time for the right blessing – even if that blessing is simply not being at the wrong place at the wrong time to experience a wrong event. This theory became the subject of discussion on social media last week after the plane crash in Brazil which claimed the lives of 62 people, including four crew members.

The flight, which left Cascavel in Brazil at 11:56 a.m. for São Paulo, crashed in a gated community in the city of Vinhedo after it appears the pilot lost control of the plane mid-journey. The plane stalled and started spinning out of control until it eventually fell from the sky. While investigators are still looking into the potential cause of the crash, one peripheral detail of the story stands out. A group of 10 people missed the doomed flight all because of a supposed mix-up with their booking.

The group had apparently mixed up the name of the airline they were to be travelling with and as a result, ended up getting to the gate after boarding time had passed. Despite pleading and arguing with an agent to let them board the flight, the agent refused them entry and they missed the flight, and also missed their death.

HAPPEN FOR A REASON

Maybe every little thing does happen for a reason. And maybe not. But either way, an individual’s choice to perceive the disappointments they face in life as being either divinely ordained or a lucky save from greater harm, is likely to keep them more grounded emotionally. The perspective we choose to adopt can mean the difference between reacting to a situation with a deep breath or a mental breakdown.

Unfortunately, many of us struggle with controlling the thoughts that live in our heads, and we get stuck in a cycle of believing the worst about ourselves, our futures and our destinies. What really makes life hard is not always the challenges we are forced to deal with but the inability to manage our emotions in coping with the challenges. After all, how can anyone consistently feel the ‘high’ of a roller coaster ride that has both ups and downs?

There is a lot about life we just don’t understand. For every disappointment, there is an infinite number of ways in which things could have been worse. There’s also an infinite number of ways in which things could have been better. We have the choice to think either about how much worse, or better, things could be.

And then, clearly, what is truly better for us doesn’t always seem better. No one likes the thought of having to spend time and money repairing a car malfunction, but if that is what ends up saving you from tragedy, it might just be the best thing that ever happens to you.

What is tricky is that we don’t always get to see the near-death experiences we are spared from. While George could see the thick black smoke rising from the Twin Towers after the plane crash on 9/11, we don’t always get that privilege. Could it be that some of our worst disappointments have saved us from tragedies we aren’t even aware of?

Kristen Gyles is a free-thinking public affairs opinionator. Send feedback to kristengyles@gmail.com and columns@gleanerjm.com