Letter of the Day | Is there hope for marriages?

THE EDITOR, Madam:

I was very disturbed reading about the killing of a man, whose wife and her brother are now suspects in his murder. This incident is not new. It has happened many times before.

When two people who had professed their love for each other and then one ends up dead and the other a suspect, this could never be the design for marriage. I believe that marriage (between a man and a woman) is God’s plan,. God designed it. (This is only for those who believe in the Creator.)

What then is happening to marriages today? They are not lasting very long, and even those that are, seem to be on the rocks. I wonder what example is being set for our young people. Are they seeing marriages that are lasting over 20 years? I believe that those who have been married for decades need to speak up and out. Give advice. Say that it can work and give guidance and what they do to make their marriages work. Highlight your recipe for success. Our young people need to know that moving from one partner to another partner is not the safe way to go. We must promote and safeguard marriage as an institution worth spending on and investing time in. We need to hear some great stories for 2024.

My parents have been together for 50 years. As I look at their marriage, there are many things I have learnt chief of which is as they would say “live down certain things”. When situations arise, which they will, they seek to take it in stride. They forgive, they let go. They bury the hatchet and quickly, too.

I believe It is very important that individuals in marriages develop their emotional intelligence. Each partner should work on himself. Be whole, be true to you, to your values, to your worth, to your goals. I had a beautiful conversation on the bus with a lady who has been married for well over 20 years. She said each person in the marriage needs to develop self-love. Not ‘selfish love’ but the kind of love wherein you love yourself wholly and truly, you respect yourself, you have self-esteem and self-worth. Only then can you love someone else, essentially, sacrificial love. This, I believe, is one of the many ingredients for a happy and lasting marriage.

I want to encourage those persons who are enjoying their marriage to be more engaging. Share your story, whether at church, in a care group, or just writing about it. It is always heartwarming to see the love stories being captured by The Gleaner of the beautiful couples. For those of you seeking to enter marriage, please seek counsel. Do not enter marriage unadvisedly. Take time out to work on you.

We must save the institution of marriage. I dare say, however, that if you can’t live together any longer, do not take the other person’s life. Walk away with dignity and in love. Life goes on.

NICOLA RICHARDS