SECRETLY IN LOVE WITH CHURCH BROTHER

Secretly in love with

a church brother

Dear Joan,

I am secretly in love with a church brother of mine and I really don?t know how to tell him. He is really cool. When he conducts praise and worship, the Church seems to be on fire, he jokes around with everyone and all the girls seem to like him a lot. I noticed he is not dating anyone and from what I hear a lot of the other sisters have their eyes set on him. He is a student at the University of the West Indies and I get the feeling he is not into any relationships right now. The trouble is I just can?t stop thinking about him and how I want him to be in my life. Should I share my feelings with him?

In Love

Dear In Love,

I think you need to focus on other things right now and stop feeding your mind with thoughts of this young man. From what you have said in your letter, he is doing the right thing - focusing on his school work and that means keeping his priorities straight. From what you say he is friendly and talks to everyone, if there was something about you that struck him, believe me, you wouldn?t have to go to him for him to notice you. If you are the one for him, it will happen, but for now leave him alone. Try going out more with your friends, reading wholesome books and stop allowing your thoughts to be filled with being with him. The more you think on it, the more you will convince yourself that you need him in your life. You could be setting yourself up for a lot of unnecessary hurt.

Blessings.

Joan

Upset with church sister

Dear Joan,

I am a member of a popular church and I am considering leaving it to go somewhere else. Right now I am writing you with tears in my eyes.

Joan, I was going through a rough patch and I confided some very personal stuff to a church sister of mine, someone I thought I could trust. At the time, she was so caring as she hugged and reassured me, she prayed with me and to tell you the truth, I really felt encouraged. But it?s like she gave me a bucket of milk and then kicked it right over! I was so surprised to hear my business being discussed by other people and I know I didn?t confide in anyone else. When I asked her about it, she said she went to one person in confidence to garner help for me ... all that would have been fine if I hadn?t specifically asked not to repeat my business to anyone. I am so disillusioned.

Discouraged

Dear Discouraged,

I am sorry to hear of your experience, but let me assure you that not everyone betray confidences. It is unfortunate that your friend told your business to someone else, even if she said her intentions were pure. The fact that you told her you didn?t want it discussed should have given her second thoughts in doing that. However, let me discourage you from going to another church, if you do that, you will find that you will have to be changing churches a lot! We are all human beings and subject to blunder, you will not find any perfect persons no matter where you go. Go back to your friend and let her know how much her action hurt you. I think you should encourage your pastor to call a members meeting to deal with this type of gossiping ... you could be helping another member in your church.

God bless you.

Joan

n Do you have an issue in the Church and need guidance? Send questions to familyandreligion@gleanerjm.com.