Friends, family urged to listen honestly to cries of those with mental health issues
Published:Monday | June 12, 2023 | 12:17 AMAsha Wilks/Gleaner Writer -
Jamaicans are being urged to use their language more responsibly when speaking with persons who are experiencing mental health challenges and require assistance.
This is especially applicable for parents, as they work to comprehend the challenges and needs of their children who are misunderstood and considered as being 'disrespectful' or 'acting out' because of their changes in behaviour that are, in actuality, signs that they require help.
Sarah Templeton, a counsellor and substance abuse specialist, said one way that family members and friends can assist these individuals is to honestly listen to the cries of those battling with mental health issues, and refuse the urge to listen with the intention to respond.
“I think there is a resistance to listening from the parents, because it indicates that there is something wrong with [the child],” she said, adding that the parents are fearful of being shown things they have potentially done wrong while raising their children.
She cautioned parents, and citizens in general, to be more mindful in telling a person to 'hush', while also stating that she recognised that this was used as a term of endearment in Jamaica.
“You’re silencing them, and I know what it means. I understand what it means, but you’re silencing them because I'm coming to you and I'm saying I'm hurting, I'm in pain [and you say] 'hush'?” she said, noting that there is “power” in the words and phrases we say and the things we do around people suffering with mental health issues alone and in silence.
According to her, as children become older, they will want to become more independent and, since the last part of a teenager’s brain development is decision making and emotional regulation, part of their experience is to make poor decisions.
As such, she advised parents to “provide a space for your child where they can feel safe and comfortable to come and talk to you about whatever it is”, with no limitations.
Templeton was one of five panellists at the most recent edition of the Red Stripe ‘Responsibility Now!’ town hall series, held last Wednesday under the theme ‘Making Sense of the Relationship between Alcohol and Mental Health’.
The event, which is held in collaboration with the Private Sector Organisation of Jamaica (PSOJ), aims to engage key stakeholders and generate public discourse on many aspects of responsible alcohol consumption.
... Mental health issues don't make you 'soft'
Carla Moore, a social activist and mental health advocate, weighing in on a discussion around mental wellness, stated that what first needs to occur is for people to get rid of the notion that having mental health issues makes one "soft", or that it is used as a justification to avoid obligations as a student or employee.
Moore,who was one of the panellists at last Wednesday's edition of the Red Stripe ‘Responsibility Now!’ town hall series, was open about surviving traumatic experiences and living with anxiety and depression.
She added that for some individuals who are from inner-city communities, “where the culture is struggle and everybody around you has mental health conditions to the point where it’s invisible and everybody wake up in the morning and drink a special – a combination of white rum and Boom energy drink – to start their day... you don’t even recognise that you are struggling, because this is the norm”.
She further stated that, because of this, when individuals try to articulate that they are struggling, the response from their peers is a negative one. This dismisses their feelings, tells them that they are not special because what they are going through is not unique within their environment, or that they are 'too soft' for not being able to adapt to their environment. This, in turn, results in further mental instability of the individual.
She advised Jamaicans to stop using phrases like "a suh di ting set, man" and "just hol' it" when responding to those who are seeking to confide in them. In addition, she said that asking a distressed person, "Why don't you just try this?" or telling them to "just do this" was not helpful, and that if they were not a mental health expert, no solutions should be offered.
For parents, she suggested that they re-evaluate their strict and authoritative parenting strategies because, if they start out with this approach and later try to adopt a more permissive approach, the child may not be able to open up to them because they have grown accustomed to hiding their feelings, emotions, and problems from the parent.
Patrice White, transformative health and wellness coach, said she believed individuals need to be educated on the pain people go through when they are depressed, and why they view suicide as the solution for their challenges.
White revealed her own struggle with mental well-being as a result of suffering from clinical depression.
She said when family members or friends are unable to offer support or to help, by directing a person to a professional for assistance, it can be difficult for the person who is suffering.
“Education is very critical to persons who are in the position to help persons who are struggling with their own struggles," White added.
She further said that while the aim was not to stigmatise or demonise alcohol, the reality was that people indulge in alcohol use to forget about their problems and to experience a temporary sense of healing and pleasure, which ultimately leads to prolonged use.
For help, contact:
The MOHW’s mental health and suicide prevention helpline – 888 NEW LIFE (639-5433) toll free, 24-hour assistance
Choose Life International, for suicide prevention and grief counselling – (876) 920-7924
RISE Life Management Services, for substance abuse issues – (876) 967-3777 or (876) 991-4146