Menopause and a happy marriage can co-exist

Hello mi neighbour! As promised in my last article, here’s Part Two of a discussion we started last time. Then, we zeroed in on some of the challenges human beings face as they grow older. As our capcities, abilities and capabilities wane with ageing, we become less productive and less attractive/appealing to members of the opposite sex. Several times in that article I suggested that we should laugh a lot as we deal with these realities. Continue laughing!

So, we addressed a particular developmental issue women entering their 40s and 50s may face and how it can destroy there marital relationships if not properly understood and managed. And, yes, we did give a few pointers on what husband and wife could do to safeguard against marital destruction. Menopause was the matter on which we opened the spotlight.

In closing that last article, we said to our younger men that while it may take a little while for their spouse to reach menopause, once she gets there, it may drag on for a while. But, “love can cover a multiply of sins”. Be prepared for a lot of ups and downs, uncharacteristic behaviours and physiological changes during this time. The rapid changes that she goes through make it almost impossible for her to act normal.

Wives, menopause is not forever. After that episode, you can still have a life and a relationship to enjoy. To lighten the journey, develop and maintain a healthy lifestyle. Eating healthy, getting regular exercise – at least four to five times a week, 30 minutes per session, can do the trick. Husbands, do it with your wife. Menopause is the end of fertility, not the end of life. As miserable as she may be, always endeavour to be at her side – as long as it is safe (lol).

Men, menopause and marriage can co-exist. All you need to do is be empathetic toward the ‘weaker vessel’. Don’t clam up whenever she begins to rant! Give a listening ear. Nothing corrodes a relationship more speedily than a deteriorated communication channel between spouses.

Research has shown that the tension between the menopausal couple is often exacerbated by the woman’s inability to explain what she is going through and the man’s inability to read her mind (smile). What a plight! Pray for them.

Husbands, avoid arguments! If she snaps at you ‘70x7’ in a day, forgive her ‘70x7’ in the same day. Leftover hurts can be deadly. Often, the yells are for no good reason. As infuriating as they may be, hold your peace and “don’t sweat the small stuff”. If a situation gets too overwhelming, take a little cool-out time and remind yourself that these behavioural tendencies may well be beyond her control.

Take her period of no interest in sexual activities with a smile. What is happening here is that, as her hormones fluctuate, her interest in intimacy takes a nosedive

Menopause causes drastic physical changes that require changes in lifestyle. These can make a woman feel alienated from her body even as her mind copes with the changes. As she evaluates and settles into these new routines, she may need a little elbow room to rejuvenate herself. Work with her but don’t go too far. The whole point of understanding the menopause is to be able to support your wife through this trying transition. Don’t be turned off by the physical and emotional changes that have taken over her life. I would want to believe that your place is still there! The right mix of compassion, empathy and humour can prevent her from slipping into depression, etc.

Prioritise her comfort. If you stay in tune with your spouse’s state of body, mind and spirit during this time, it will work wonders for you both. Always endeavour to maintain a happy, stress-free environment at home. The more comfortable she is at home, the less her menopause symptoms will be aggravated.

Enjoy the ride with pride. See you on the other side!

KINDLY HELP SOMEONE FROM LIST BELOW

1. Neighbour needs help with renovation of bathroom; also needs a wheelchair

2. Veronica, St Catherine, unemployed amputee needs food and financial assistance.

To help, please call Silton Townsend @ 876 649-9636 or deposit in acct # 351 044 276 NCB. Alternatively, send donations to Hello Neighbour, C/o 53 Half-Way Tree Road, Kingston 10; Paypal/credit card: email: zicron22@yahoo.com. Contact email: helloneighbour@yahoo.com. Visit hellomineighbourja.blogspot.com. Townsend exclusively manages the collections and distributions mentioned in this column and is neither an employee nor agent of The Gleaner.