Gary Blair | Back to the basics of life: No sex before marriage
Published:Sunday | July 27, 2025 | 12:07 AM
Gary Blair
Contributor
IN A society that has become increasingly permissive and digitally driven, conversations around sexual abstinence before marriage are often dismissed as outdated, biased, or overly religious. However, with the rise of emotional instability, high divorce rates, and declining moral standards, perhaps it’s time to return to foundational values, ones that once defined stronger families, safer communities, and healthier individuals.
This article presents a rational, research-based, and spiritually sound case for the value of abstaining from sex before marriage, particularly among the youths of Jamaica and wider Caribbean society. The aim is not to shame, but to inform and empower.
THE CASE FOR COURTSHIP AND ABSTINENCE
The traditional approach of courtship, in which couples took time to get to know one another under the guidance of family, emphasised respect, responsibility, and commitment. Seeking parental approval was not just about tradition; it was a way to ensure accountability and intention.
Abstinence until marriage is not just a spiritual principle; it has tangible, evidence-based benefits that make it highly relevant even in the 21st century.
BENEFITS OF NO SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE
Psychological stability: Research published in the Journal of Marriage and Family Therapy has shown that individuals who abstain from sex before marriage report lower levels of emotional trauma and higher satisfaction in long-term relationships. Without the emotional baggage of failed past relationships, couples can build on a stronger foundation.
Reduced risk of STDs and infections: According to the World Health Organization, Jamaica continues to battle high rates of sexually transmitted infections among the youths. Abstaining from sexual activity before marriage is the most effective way to prevent transmission.
Greater relationship satisfaction: A 2012 study published by the American Psychological Association found that couples who waited until marriage to have sex reported better communication, higher levels of trust, and greater intimacy than those who were sexually active prior to marriage.
Spiritual integrity and peace of mind: For those who follow Christian or other faith-based principles, abstinence aligns with God’s commandment to “flee from sexual immorality” (1 Corinthians 6:18). It preserves spiritual clarity, prevents guilt, and keeps one’s soul intact.
Clearer judgment and better partner choice: Premarital sex often clouds judgment. Waiting to become sexually involved allows individuals to better evaluate compatibility, values, and life goals.
Higher chances of marital longevity: Studies suggest that couples who abstain until marriage are 22 per cent less likely to divorce compared to those who are sexually active before marriage.
THE DANGERS OF SEXUAL IMMORALITY
The Bible teaches that sexual sin is unique in its impact: “Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.” (1 Corinthians 6:18). In essence, it opens doors for emotional, spiritual, and even generational bondage.
* From a societal standpoint, the consequences are dire:
* Increased rates of single-parent households
* Higher incidences of emotional trauma and depression
* Broken homes and unstable children
* Disrespect in male-female relationships
WHY VIRGIN COUPLES EXPERIENCE GREATER SATISFACTION
Contrary to popular belief, virgin couples are not awkward, inexperienced, or destined for boredom. In fact, multiple reputable studies affirm the opposite.
A landmark study by the Journal of Family Psychology revealed that virgin couples report higher levels of sexual satisfaction, emotional connection, and overall happiness in marriage compared to those with multiple previous sexual partners. Because:
* There are no comparisons clouding expectations
* Trust is higher, since the bond is exclusive
* Emotional connection is stronger, not transactional
* Spiritual connection aligns with commitment
* Furthermore, relationships that are not built on lust tend to survive the highs and lows of life — money troubles, health issues, or family conflicts — more successfully.
CULTURAL SHIFTS AND SPIRITUAL DECLINE
In Jamaican culture, there’s a noticeable increase in music and media that glorify immorality. Phrases like “demon girl” or “badman lifestyle” reflect a darker shift in values. We are seeing the normalisation of pornography, sex toys, open relationships, and online sexual content — all of which distort true intimacy.
Marriage is no longer sacred to many. Complaints now include “he doesn’t act like a porn star” or “she prefers her toy over me”. These aren't petty gripes; they’re red flags of a society losing its grip on love, honour, and real devotion.
CALL TO THE YOUTHS OF JAMAICA
Let us return to the values that sustained our grandparents’ marriages — ones built on faith, love, and purity. Let us encourage our youths to strive for higher standards:
* Value your body: You are not a commodity; you are priceless.
* Guard your soul: Sex is not just physical, it’s spiritual.
* Seek God's will: Honour your future spouse before you even meet them.
* Build legacy, not just pleasure: Purity now sets the tone for peace later.
* You deserve a relationship that is not haunted by ghosts of the past, but blessed by the foundation of righteousness.
It’s never too late to start again. Whether you’re 15 or 35, choosing purity today can change your future. Let's teach our young people that true love waits, not because it is afraid, but because it knows its worth.
Let’s bring back honour, self-respect, and spiritual power to our relationships. The basics still work. And the blessing is still real.
Gary Blair is founder – On Guard Supplies and Services Ltd.