DOCTOR'S ADVICE - Massage parlour

• Q. My husband was recently on a business trip to England. Immediately after he returned, I found a 'visiting card' in his jacket pocket.  I was really upset to find that it was the card of a 'topless massage parlour'. I demanded to know what had been going on while he was abroad.  He immediately confessed. He said that he was feeling lonely while there, so he yielded to the temptation to visit this place. He said that he only had a 'basic sex massage'. It was a very tearful evening for both of us, but eventually he promised that he would never do anything like that again. So I forgave him. We made love that night.  But I am worried doctor. Is it possible that he could have caught a sexual infection at that establishment? And if so, could he have given it to me?

A. I am sorry to hear about all this. While I cannot condone your husband's behaviour, I am afraid it is often the case that when men are overseas, they are often tempted by the attractions of 'massage parlours' and similar outlets.

The risks depend on what your husband actually did while he was at the 'parlour'. One very common service offered at these 'shops' is a 'hand job'.

If it is any reassurance, the risk of getting a sexually transmitted infection (STI) from that is almost zero. I do not think I have ever seen or heard of a male patient contracting an STI from being given a hand job.

So if that really was the only thing that happened, there would be no need to worry about your health.

However, these places do offer a range of other sexual services, such as a 'blow job' which is oral sex performed on a male.

There is some danger of catching an STI from this activity, though the risk is very low. A group of scientists has found that the chances of catching HIV by that route are relatively small - although it can happen.

What would be dangerous is if your husband had sex with any of the women. If he did, then I am afraid that would have exposed him to a wide range of sexual infections, including chlamydia, gonorrhoea, syphilis, herpes and even HIV.

It is possible that he had oral sex or some other form of sexual activity.

I think that you should again ask your husband about this. But I am afraid that even if he denies having penetrative sex, there has to be a possibility that he did.

So I must advise you to go and get a check-up from a doctor just in case.

I hope that everything will turn out OK for you. If your husband has to go abroad on business again in the future, I feel that you should make every effort to go with him - and keep an eye on him.

• Q. I am a man who was badly injured in a motor-vehicle accident several years ago. One of my testicles was destroyed by the impact. The surgeons 'fixed me up', and my sex life is OK. I have been with two women recently, and everything went well.  But I do not 'look right' or 'feel right'. It is obvious that there is only one testicle in my scrotum, especially if a woman feels it with her fingers.  Is it true that I could get a replacement?

A. Yes, you could get what is called a 'prosthesis'. This is an artificial testicle, about the same size and weight as the real thing. It doesn't actually do anything, and the effect is purely 'cosmetic'.

So the false testicle just makes the scrotum look perfectly normal. However, I must warn you that the ones that I have seen are just a little harder than a real testicle, so they may not be totally convincing.

• Q.  Should I be douching regularly, doctor? My mother always told me that an adult woman must douche the vagina at least once a week.

A. I am afraid that your mother was not correct. The practice of douching is widespread. It involves washing out the vagina with a quantity of water or a soap solution.

But most gynaecologists do not think this is a good idea, because it washes away the natural secretions, and also gets rid of the 'good bacteria' that are supposed to be in the vagina.

• Q.  Doctor I have a very embarrassing question. Should a 38-year-old man wash under the foreskin, is this necessary?

A. Adult males should indeed wash under the foreskin every day. This helps prevent the build-up of a substance called 'smegma'.

Also, washing is thought to reduce the chances of getting cancer of the penis later in life.

• Q.  My period is around 32 or 33 days apart. Is this ok doctor?

A.  Most women's period are 26 to 28 days apart. But 32 or 33 days is OK. However, when periods are as far apart as 35 days or more, this does suggest that there might be a problem with the female hormones.

• Q.  My husband has a manual job, in which his hands get very dirty. So when we are in bed, is it OK to let him touch my private parts with his fingers?

A.  Yes, it is OK, provided he has carefully washed his hands. It is particularly important for men to get rid of any oil or tar residue from the skin and nails.

It is known that cancer of the cervix is more common in women whose partners have manual jobs. This may be due to the fact that not all men wash their hands carefully before touching the female genitals.

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