DOCTOR'S ADVICE: The truth about female orgasms

Q Good day Doctor, I would like to know the truth about female orgasms and how they are related to a woman's age.

I am a 36-year-old woman and never had an orgasm until I was around 25. Then I met and fell in love with a wonderful man, and we got married. He was very good in bed, and he taught me how to achieve an orgasm. Unfortunately, he died.

After the shock, I did not think about sex for several years. But eventually I began to feel horny, so I started to masturbate. This meant that I could have a few orgasms per month.

Now I have met another man and have fallen in love. He, too, is very good 'in the sack', and he takes great interest in giving me pleasure.

To my surprise, he is able to make me have orgasm after orgasm. The other night I must have climaxed at least eight times in a single session. Am I abnormal? Could having all these climaxes make me ill as I get older?

A I am sorry to hear about your husband's passing. It is good that you have found someone.

It is also nice to hear that this man is so skilled in bed, and takes the time to make you orgasm.

But having all these climaxes will not hurt you at all. They cannot affect your health. Society's attitude to female orgasm has changed a lot in recent years. I can recall a time when many people thought a woman was extremely lucky if she climaxed at all! Medical textbooks used to state that a lot of women simply could not do it.

However, it eventually became apparent that pretty much all women can learn to have an orgasm, if the conditions are right and romantic, and if the man knows what he is doing.

Sex experts have gradually accepted the view that most women can have 'multiple orgasms', assuming that they really want to.

Research has shown that the ability to have multiple orgasms increases with age. Very few young women can.

As women reach their late 20s or 30s, they often find it very easy to have multiple orgasms in a single session. I have seen a number of patients who have learnt how to do it when they were in their 40s, or even 50s.

Some of them learnt how to through masturbation. Others learned how to do because they have found a partner who was romantic and thoughtful, and who knew how to stimulate the female genitalia, especially the clitoris.

Eight orgasms in one evening will not hurt you. Although many women are perfectly satisfied with having two or three in one night, I have seen quite a few patients who sometimes have eight or nine.

Admittedly, they do tend to be very tired the next day. So I do not think that they go for that number all the time.

At a recent meeting of sexologists, several participants said that they had encountered women who sometimes had 20 orgasms in a single session.

You have nothing to worry about. It is excellent that you have now found a happy and satisfying relationship, and I wish you well.

Q My wife is going to get a coil. Could this injure me in any way?

A No, the coil or intrauterine device (IUD) cannot harm the male partner.

You may notice a little bit of a 'tickling' feeling from the thread of the coil during sex, but most men actually like that.

If it happens to be slightly uncomfortable, it should be easy for a doctor to shorten the thread.

Q I am 33, and recently I had sex with my boyfriend on the very last day of my period. Do you think I will get pregnant?

A That is unlikely, but it could happen. I am afraid you will have to wait and see if the next period arrives.

Q I am 32-year-old man and I always seem to have an orgasm way too early. I was in a bar recently and I was offered some special 'delay tablets'.

Would these help?

A The tablets which are sold in bars are usually antidepressants. In other words, they are intended for treating clinical depression.

However, they often have the side effect of delaying climax. That is why a lot of them are sold illegally in bars and on the streets.

I cannot advise you to use them, for two reasons. First, these pills may not be genuine. Second, if they are, you would be taking a very powerful drug.

So, I think it would be better if you talk to a doctor or a counsellor about your ejaculation problems.

Q Aspirin will not ease my period pain. So where do I go from here?

A You should try paracetamol. If that fails, switch to one of the 'Non-Steroidal Anti-Inflammatory drugs' (NSAIDS), such as ibuprofen, if your doctor agrees.

If they do not work, your doctor may put you on a hormonal preparation which I hope will take away your pain.

Q A few weeks ago I was away from my wife and I went to a 'sex shop'. While I was there, two women gave me an 'assisted shower'.

I did not have sex with either of them, and there was definitely no penetration. However, they both handled my genitals at the same time.

Is there any risk I could have caught VD?

A From what you say, that is very unlikely indeed. But if you notice any kind of genital symptoms, please check with a doctor.

Q I have been offered 'body-building' steroids. Would it be safe to try them?

A No, it wouldn't. You could get a lot of side effects, including losing your nature.

Q My husband has been in prison, and during that time I have had sex several times with a young man.

When he gets out next month, will he be able to detect any changes in my body that could indicate that I have been unfaithful?

A No, there are no changes that he could detect. But before he comes out, maybe you should get a check-up for sexually transmitted infections.

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