Doctor's advice: Am I losing my sexuality?

Q Doc, I am a 23-year-old guy, and I have noticed that I don't seem to have sex as often as I used to. I am sure that I used to have orgasms around three or four times a week. Now, it is more like twice. Admittedly, I do work very long hours and my job is pretty tiring, so sometimes I am exhausted in the evenings. Nevertheless, I am worried at the fact that I don't have sex as often as I once did. Is this part of a general decline in my sexuality? Or does this happen to all guys?

A: Well, you are actually right in thinking that frequency of sex tends to diminish slightly as the years go by.

For instance, United States sex researchers have found that in males, the average number of orgasms per week is as follows:

Age 15: about four per week;

Age 20: about 3 per week;

Age 25: about 2.75 per week;

Age 30: about 2.25 per week;

Age 35: about 2 per week;

Age 35: about 1.9 per week;

Age 40: about 1.75 per week;

Age 45: also about 1.75 per week;

Age 50: about 1.25 per week.

After that, there is a very slow decline in frequency, with a figure of around one per week very commonly being 'scored' by the over-60s.

I must stress that these figures are just averages, and that men vary a great deal. But you can see that there is generally a slight reduction in frequency as one gets older.

This is nothing to fret about, and I am sure that medically speaking you are perfectly OK. You can probably look forward to a long and happy sex life.

Q Could you advise me about tampons, Doc? I am 18 and am considering starting to use them. But my mother says that they are dangerous and can give a girl serious infections. Also, is it true that you can save money by using them twice?

A: Please do not even think about saving money by using them twice! This would be most unwise, as it could introduce germs into your cervix and womb.

The vast majority of the millions of females who use tampons have few problems. But there is a little truth in what your mother says, because there's a rare infection which occurs in tampon users.

It is called toxic shock syndrome, or TSS. The best way of avoiding it is to make sure that your hands are clean whenever you put a tampon in or take one out.

Also, please follow the instructions on the pack or the leaflet that comes with it. In particular, obey the directions about how long the tampon can safely be left inside you.

Then you should be quite safe.

Q I am an 18-year-old guy who has only had sex once in my life. That was a month ago, with a girl from Kingston. I enjoyed it, Doc, but I discharged very quickly. I probably only lasted around one minute. The girl laughed at me and said: "You come far too soon." Do you think I suffer from premature ejaculation (PE)?

A: You may have a tendency for PE, but it is impossible to determine that, as you have had sex but once. It may well be that this was just a first-time blip.

Doubtless you were nervous, and that tends to make young men climax much too soon. It is an effect of adrenaline on the male body.

You will just have to wait and see what happens when you establish a consistent sexual relationship. When that happens, try to be calm.

The odds are that everything will be OK.

Q I had sex with a boy at Black River two weeks ago, but he did not go very far into me. Maybe it was just an inch or two. Then I made him pull out. What I would like to know, Doc, is this: Am I still a virgin?

A:Legally, you are no longer a virgin. As far as the law is concerned, even the slightest degree of penetration counts as intercourse.

However, it may well be that you still have your hymen. That is the little membrane which is just inside the opening of the vagina. It is also known as 'the virgin's veil'.

It is generally broken by the first act of intercourse. But if the penetration of the penis has been very slight, the membrane may remain unbroken.

Did you notice any slight bleeding or pain? If you didn't, your hymen may still be intact. So you will still have the appearance of virginity.

Q I am a teenager, and my menses have only just started. Well, I notice that sometimes they come on the ninth of the month, and then on the seventh of the month, and then maybe on the fifth or fourth. Does this matter?

A: No, it doesn't. I quite often get this question from young patients who have not been menstruating very long.

They have failed to remember that the months of the calendar are of different lengths. Some of them are 31 days long, others are 30 and, of course, February is usually 28 days.

So if you have a menstrual cycle that is 26 or 28 days long, you will find that the date of your period keeps getting just a little earlier in the calendar month.

My advice to girls is to get themselves a diary or a calendar and mark the dates of their menses. You should then be able to see precisely how far apart they are, and when the next one is due.

Also, nowadays, it is possible to programme your mobile phone or your computer to record your menstrual information and to inform you when the next menses are likely to occur.

Q I am a 20-year-old man. Last month, I had sex with two different girls. I have since found out that I have gonorrhoea, for which I am being treated.How could I work out which of this girls gave me the infection?

A: You can't. What you should do now is to urge both of them to see a doc for tests. This is very important for the sake of their health.

Email questions for Doc to saturdaylife@gleanerjm.com. Also, look out for the next Doctor's Advice column in the Sunday Gleaner magazine, Outlook.