Guinness, 'Expendables', provide a bang!

Garfene Grandison, Gleaner Writer

Celebrities were aplenty, just as they were in the movie they came to watch, courtesy of a private screening staged by Guinness at the Carib Cinema.

Dancehall's newest rivals turned allies Bounty Killer and Beenie Man, Agent Sasco, Tifa, Natalie Storm and others, were not coining lyrics for their audience as they usually do, they were at The Carib last Friday to see The Expendables.

The movie revolves around Barney Ross (Sylvester Stallone) and his crew of mercenaries - Jason Statham (37), Jet Li (46)Dolph Lundgren (52), Mickey Rourke (57), and Terry Crews (42) - known as The Expendables.

After killing Somali pirates, the crew is hired by a shadowy figure, Bruce Willis, to take down a general (David Zayas) and end his authoritarian rule over the country of Vilena.

It later turns out that the general is just the puppet of a rogue Central Intelligence Agency agent (Eric Roberts) and his burly henchman (WWE wrestler Stone Cold Steve Austin).

But The Expendables has higher aspirations that are unreachable with the limited talent of its cast and lazy script.

The closest the film comes to a moment of honest pathos is in a scene where Mickey Rourke, who plays a retired, wise-old-sage figure to The Expendables, gives an overly-earnest speech about killing countless people, but being too beaten-down to save one, to Stallone.

This speech is the peg on which Ross returns to Vilena after originally ditching the plan to liberate it.

Although it is a suicide mission, Ross's team gladly joins him in a quest for salvation. Saving the puppet General's daughter is supposed to, in turn, save Ross's soul, in a sense allowing him to keep something human about himself.

The very tough and hardcore action scenes are indeed an addition to the movie, but The Expendables completely fails at reconciling the over-the-top action with its aspirations of heartfelt drama.

The film constantly throws around banter and one-liners that often fall flat, but gave some audience members a laugh.

It was baffling to watch Stallone and Statham pretend their characters have any chemistry.

The two were supposed to be old pals who have been to hell and back and have the jokes to prove it.That was not achieved.

The characters may not have much in the way of personality, but they admittedly know how to light up the screen action-wise.

There are some really fun kills in The Expendables. The most common cause of death in Vilena is either getting shot with 23 bullets in two seconds, getting sliced up, or getting your neck snapped.

The kills aren't clever but they're bloody and you'll be satisfied with some of the fight moves and life-enders.

That said, the movie is cliché at best and had moviegoers predicting the storyline as it progressed.

However, the few funny punchlines and the heavy action entertained.

photos by Winston Sill/Freelance Photographer

The Guinness girls were just as entertaining as 'The Expendables' at the Carib Cinema last Friday.