Doctor's Advice - I hate showing my breasts to my partner

• Q.  I am a 24-year-old woman who has low self-esteem regarding my naked body. I have stretch marks all around my breasts, which force me to hide my bosom from my partner. Surprisingly, he says that he has no problem with these stretch marks. He thinks my breasts are sexy, but I do not believe him. I am a slim person, and I would like to know how to get rid of these marks. You see, I need to feel more comfortable when I am naked around my partner.

A.  Well, there are two problems here. First, there is the problem of the stretch marks. Second, there is the problem of your self-esteem.

Stretch marks are caused from a breakdown of one of the layers of the skin. They are extremely common in women but also occur in guys, particularly weightlifters.

Now, you are not going to like what I am about to say: the fact is, it is not possible to cure stretch marks by taking tablets, or by putting creams or ointments on the skin. Browsing the Internet, you will see hundreds of firms which want to sell you expensive 'anti-stretch mark creams'. Alas, these things will not work!

You may be reluctant to accept this fact. Consider that if there really was a simple remedy of stretch marks, doctors would be prescribing it!

However, there are two treatments which can help. Unfortunately, they are expensive.

First, there is cosmetic surgery, also known as plastic surgery. What happens here is that the surgeon simply cuts out the stretch marks. Regrettably, this can leave scars on the skin.

Second, there are clinics which offer laser therapy. This is sometimes useful in reducing the stretchy appearance, and making the marks less obvious.

Looking on the bright side, there is a strong tendency for stretch marks to fade and become less noticeable as time goes by.

Now, let us turn to the question of your self-esteem. This is obviously at a very low level.

In particular, I note that your boyfriend is telling you that he thinks your breasts are sexy. And you say that you do not believe him.

That remark is illogical. Do you think your partner is lying? Or do you perhaps think that he has something wrong with his eyes?

The guy says he has no problem with the stretch marks on your breasts, and yet you are paying him no mind! Frankly, this is crazy. He obviously thinks that your bosom is beautiful, but you are not listening to him. It is time you do so.

I feel that you urgently need some help with your self-esteem. There are now various therapists and counsellors who can assist you to feel better about yourself. I suggest you have a half a dozen sessions with one.

Obviously, that will cost you some money, but it could pay rich dividends because you will gradually learn to feel much better about yourself - and about your breasts. Good luck.

• Q.  I have to take a circumcision next month. Would the hospital allow me to keep my foreskin?

A. Do you mean in a bottle of preserving fluid? That would be a very unusual request. However, people do sometimes take home the bits that surgeons have removed from them. There is no reason why you should not ask the surgeon-specialist to do this for you.

• Q. I am a 21-year-old woman. I am currently sexually inactive, but first became active when I was 15 or 16. The last time I had sex (or tried to), I felt intense pain, like I was being pierced by a steel weapon. Could this be caused by cervical cancer?

A. That is unlikely. I cannot say what is wrong with you because there are many possible diagnoses. But what I am quite certain of is this: see a doc very soon. The same is true of any woman who experiences severe and unexplained pain during sex.

• Q.  I am a bit concerned that not long after I ejaculate, I lose my erection. I have been told that a lot of men maintain a good erection immediately after they discharge. Is this true?

A. You have been misinformed. Scientists have shown that the vast majority of men lose their erections almost immediately after orgasm. There are exceptions to this rule. A few highly sexed guys do manage to remain stiff after climaxing. That is more common in young males. What you describe about yourself is absolutely normal.

• Q. What sort of emergency contraception would be ideal for a 16-year-old girl, such as myself? I am not completely sure that I am not pregnant. In fact, Doc, I have not had sex yet, but a guy's precome may have touched my vagina.

A It is most unlikely that you are pregnant. And in any case, it seems, from what you say, that this sexual episode was a couple of weeks before you sent your email. So it would be far too late to take any emergency contraception.

I really do advise you to be careful about petting in future. Do not let any boy get his seminal fluid anywhere near your sex organs! If you think there is a serious danger that you are about to let some guy have intercourse with you, use safe contraception before it is too late.

• Q. How often can a guy orgasm in an hour?

A. On the Internet, there are claims that a man holds a 'world record' by ejaculating 16 times in one hour. I am not sure that I believe this story because it seems pretty unlikely.

American researchers have studied people having orgasms in the laboratory. They found that it was unusual for a male to be able to climax twice in an hour. However, quite a lot of young men can do it, particularly if there is intense sexual stimulation.

• Q. I am 19, and I notice that I get slight pain in the lower part of the belly, about halfway between the menses. Why is this happening to me?

A. This is almost certainly a normal phenomenon called mittelschmerz. That is German for 'middle pain'. It often happens when a young woman ovulates, i.e., releases an ovum (egg). That particular day is usually about 14 days before a period is due. The pain is nothing to fret about, but if you ever find that it was severe, you should check with a doc.

• Q.  I am a 19-year-old guy, and I notice that if I am frustrated, my testicles pain me a little. Is this cancer?

A. No. This is a normal symptom in young men when they have become sexually excited, but do not have the chance to discharge.

Email comments and questions for Doc to saturdaylife@gleanerjm.com.