Doctor's advice: He is close to suicide

Q Hello, doc. I'm a guy and my problem is that I can only perform sex around once in every four to five days. And after one 'round', I'm done.

My libido can be low at times. And another problem is that I get more sexual satisfaction when I masturbate than I do when I penetrate a woman.

So because of all this, I am left with no girlfriend these days.

One final thing is that I don't want to be touched on my genitals during sex.

What is wrong with me? I have even come close to committing suicide.

A Please do not even think about committing suicide. I am sure you can be helped.

Let us look carefully at your story. You are a young man, and it appears that you only have sex 'once every four to five days'. Well, for a lot of guys who are not particularly highly sexed, that is normal.

Next, you say that 'after one round', you are done. Again, a lot of guys are like you. After one orgasm, they really don't feel like it again for quite a while.

Then you state that at times your libido can be low. Well, that happens to many people, especially if they are depressed - which I strongly suspect you are.

After that, you tell me that you get more satisfaction from masturbation than you do from sexual intercourse. I cannot say that that is totally normal, but a lot of guys do report that they get more intense 'local' sensations in the penis when they masturbate than they do when they have intercourse.

Finally, you inform me that you "don't want to be touched" on your genitals during sex. That is certainly unusual, though many young men find that just AFTER sexual intercourse, their genitals are so sensitive that they do not want to be touched there for a few minutes.

So what is going on here?

Well, to be frank I would say that I think your problems are psychological rather than physical. Nevertheless, you should go and see a doctor as soon as possible, and ask him for a full check-up, including an examination of your genitals to make sure that everything is OK structurally, including the nerve supply to the penis and scrotum.

If I were your doc, I would also arrange a blood test to measure your male hormone (testosterone) level, and also your level of prolactin. Prolactin is another hormone, and it is sometimes raised in cases of reduced libido.

But I repeat that I think that your problems are likely to turn out to be psychological rather than physical. The tone of your email, with its suicidal thoughts, seems to me to give clear evidence that you're depressed.

Also, your rather unusual fears about being touched during sex makes me wonder if something bad has happened to you in your past. For instance, did anyone 'interfere' with you when you were small?

Summing up, you should go to the doctor right away, and have that physical check-up, and preferably blood tests as well. He may well wish to put you on antidepressant medication. And I hope that he will then send you to a good therapist, who can assist you to unravel your past, and then help you to cope with your future.

I wish you good luck.

QI am desperate to get pregnant, but I don't have a male partner at the moment. Is it true that a woman can buy frozen sperms from companies in America, which they would mail to her?

AYes, this is true, but I really would not recommend it. You would have no reliable information about the guy who 'donated' the sperm.

For all you know, he might be HIV-positive, and then the virus could infect you. Or he might have some hereditary disorder that could affect the baby. Summing up: please don't do this!

QHi, how are you doing, doc? I am a 21-year-old male. I have been with my girlfriend for about two years now. We are both good in bed.

But now I am finding that I have lost my feelings for her. She asks me for sex, and I find that I have no 'vibe' for her.

So now she is saying that I am cheating! How can I get back my feelings for her?

AWell, I am afraid that there is no medication that will make a male desire a female when his feelings for her have started to weaken.

It is possible that the two of you will be able to keep this relationship going if both of you are willing to accept that the wild passion of the first couple of years has faded.

On the other hand, I fear that your recent loss of sexual interest in her is an indication that maybe this 'partnership' is approaching its end. I am afraid that that is what happens with so many young couples once the first rush of desire has gone.

I can offer you no magic remedy. I think that your best plan would be for the two of you to seek out a good youth counsellor, who can help you to see whether the relationship can be salvaged - or whether it is simply time to move on.

QMy menses have always been a real nuisance, and I have now seen a doc who has suggested to me that I would be 'better off without them'. He says that I should take the Pill in such a way that I only menstruate ONCE for the year.

Is this safe? Surely, all that menstrual blood has to come out, doesn't it?

AAn increasing number of doctors, particularly in the United States, are in favour of the idea that women need only have one or two periods a year.

That is perfectly OK healthwise. In fact, it may even reduce your chances of getting breast cancer when you are older.

The idea that your body has to get rid of blood each month is common among young women, but it is just a myth.

I imagine that this doc will prescribe a Pill which you can take, without any breaks, for up to 12 months. Please be guided by him.

QI am a guy in my late teens, and I am just learning about circumcision. My penis is uncircumcised.

So doc, should I get a circumcision op?

AI don't know why so many young guys have got this idea that circumcision is somehow 'a good thing'. It isn't.

In a 'youngish' man, there are only two clear medical 'indications' for circumcision. They are:

(1) The guy cannot pee because whenever time he tries to pass urine, his foreskin blows out like a balloon;

(2) The guy cannot get his foreskin to roll back, so that when he has an erection the tip or head of it (the glans) remains covered by skin.

If neither of those statements applies to you, then forget all about circumcision.

Email questions for Doc to saturdaylife@gleanerjm.com. You may also read Doctor's Advice every Sunday in the Outlook Magazine.