Doctor's advice: Am I too old to conceive?

Q Hi. I am a female Gleaner reader, living in the UK, and have been with my partner since I was 37 years old, which was 10 years ago.

We both have children from previous relationships but we have been trying for a baby for quite a long time.

So far, we have not been able to conceive a child. A family doctor here sent me to do a fertility test, which showed that I still ovulate, or produce eggs.

My husband has been sent to do a sperm test but, to date, has not done it.

I know that it is now too late for me to conceive, but this does not take away the hurt and emptiness that I feel. I really wanted to have a child with my husband, but I suppose it was not meant to be. I know that you may say I am too old, but I just cannot get this feeling out of my head.

A No, I am certainly not going to write you off as too old. And you are mistaken in thinking that it is too late for conception. It isn't.

The investigation which your family doc has done shows clearly that you have plenty of egg and are, therefore, still capable of being a mother. In England, each year, there are quite a few women of 47 and upwards who have babies.

But what stands out dramatically from your letter is the fact that your husband has been asked to do a sperm test - and hasn't done it! So we do not know if he is still fertile or not.

He really should get that test done immediately. He may perhaps believe that there is no need because he fathered a child many years ago. But that is no guarantee he is still fertile today. After all, it may be that some illness long ago has deprived him of his sperm-making capacity.

If it does turn out that he is infertile, I fear there is little that could be done to help you both have a baby.

But what if his sperm test reveals that he is producing healthy, active spermatozoa?

Well, that would indicate that, even though you have lots of eggs, you have some other problem. For instance, you may have blocked tubes. However, that difficulty can be overcome by tube surgery or in vitro fertilisation (the test-tube technique).

Have your man to do that sperm test immediately. If it shows he is fertile, go back and see that doc to find out what can be done. Good luck.

Q I'm 18 and know very little about sex. Is it necessary to blow up a condom before using it in order to check that it is OK?

ANo. Do not inflate condoms before using them. Not only is this unnecessary, but it may also overstrain them and cause holes.

When you take a condom out of the packet, you should immediately unroll it on to your erect organ.

QI am a young woman, and I am afraid of sex because I am scared that a guy could urinate inside me. Is this possible?

AIt is almost impossible. When a guy has an erection, it would be very difficult indeed for him to pass urine. I have never heard of a man doing such a thing. Quit fretting.

QI am a male virgin. Is it true that a guy's organ can be damaged or cut when he inserts it into a woman?

ANo, this is one of those myths which circulate among some young males. There is no way that your organ can be damaged during normal intercourse. Fractures are marginally possible only during extremely risky and rough love play.

Q I am a young guy. In the last few weeks, I have found that whenever I have sex, I bleed immediately afterwards.

During this time, I have been with two different girls, and it has happened with each of them. At first, I thought it was the girls who were bleeding but now I realise it is me.

The blood seems to be coming from just inside the urinary pipe. What is happening to me, Doc? Help!

ADon't panic. I am sure all will be well. You clearly have a small problem just inside your urinary pipe, and the friction of sex is making it bleed.

Statistically, the most likely source of the bleeding is a polyp. A polyp is a small projection of tissue, usually caused from a virus. It is rather like a wart.

Polyps are very fragile, and tend to bleed during sex. But they generally stop bleeding in a few hours.

Have a doc examine you. He will determine whether you should consult a surgeon. It is possible that you may need to take a small operation. I am confident that this problem can be put right.

QI am 19, and having a lot of trouble with my menses. Would the mini-Pill help me, as one of my friends has said?

A No. The ordinary Pill generally helps young women's periods, and makes them much more bearable.

But the mini-Pill does not do that. Because it contains only one hormone (not two, like the ordinary Pill), it is no good at shortening the menses or making them more regular.

QIs it true that if I went to the USA, I could get that male Pill?

ANo. The male Pill is still at the laboratory stage. I would be surprised if it comes on the market in less than five years.

Q My girlfriend just told me that 10 years ago, when she was a teenager, she had sex with another female.

Does this mean she is really a lesbian? I hope not because I really love her.

AThis doesn't mean she's a lesbian. Statistics show that a surprisingly high proportion of women have had some sort of sexual contact with another female when they were young. For instance, a study among American women college students found that around 25 per cent of them had had some sort of brief sexual contact with another female.

I think you should pay this past escapade no mind. I hope you and your girlfriend will be very happy together.

QI am a 22-year-old woman. I have recently started my first sexual relationship and hope to marry the guy.

What is making me fret is the fact that I just cannot discharge unless he touches my clitoris. Am I abnormal?

ANo, you are normal. What a lot of young people still do not realise is that the vast majority of women simply cannot climax unless the clitoris is stimulated.

Email questions and comments for Doc to saturdaylife@gleanerjm.com.