Let's talk life

Yvonnie Bailey- Davidson

Worried over mom's behaviour

Dear Counsellor:

I am writing to you about my mother, who has become very forgetful. She speaks foolishness at times and is not interested in what's going on in the house. She sleeps a lot and doesn't want to eat.

- Johanna

Dear Johanna:

It would seem that your mother is developing dementia and/or depression. How old is your mother? You will need to take her to a doctor to have her assessed. She might have something that is curable, so a series of tests will have to be done.

Depression is a common problem, and so is dementia. Depression can mask itself as dementia.

Forgetfulness is a natural part of life. As you grow older, the forgetfulness increases and it becomes severe in dementia. Memory aids are plentiful. Keeping a diary would also be helpful. Depression is treatable with antidepressants, while the progression of dementia may be delayed with medication.

Enjoy your mother while she can talk with you. Some elderly persons like to talk about the past and reminisce about their youth. It is good to look through an album and remember the good times that you shared. Sometimes, it's good to revisit a place that has pleasant memories.

Encourage her to make a favourite meal or drink. Let her help you in the garden; tending flowers has a healing effect. I am sure your mother can be treated and you can enjoy each other's company.

My son has become abusive

Dear Counsellor:

My son has become verbally and physically abusive. He gets into a rage if he cannot have his own way. I cannot understand his behaviour and mood. He can be quite loving towards me at times.

- Mary

Dear Mary:

Your son needs to be seen by a therapist to try to understand what is causing his mood swings.

It would seem that he is acting like this because he has been traumatised. Has there been a death in the family? Individuals grieve differently from each other. Maybe someone close has moved away and he is feeling sad.

How is the relationship with his father? Boys need their fathers to be intimately involved in their lives. Maybe an uncle or a pastor can act as a surrogate father for him. A father figure can provide discipline and mentorship.

We need to consider the possibility of his mood swings as being part of bipolar disorder. We would need an evaluation by his teacher about his behaviour in class. The teacher can provide information about his moodiness, anger and general behaviour in the classroom. The teacher is vital to the assessment of students.

With a complete assessment, we will be able to intervene in this situation.

Email questions and feedback to Dr Yvonnie Bailey-Davidson at yvonniebd@hotmail.com or call her at 978-8602.