Three thieves, one lesson

Din Duggan, Contributor

TO THE children of Jamaica - our future. Grownups have taught you many important lessons. Hopefully, you're obediently following them, otherwise, Santa won't be kind to you this Christmas. Remember, listen to mommy and daddy. Eat your vegetables. Study hard. Pray. Most importantly, if you choose to be a thief, steal big.

Thief #1

Don't be like Fitzroy Lou. Mr Lou is, apparently, a very bad man. He allegedly walked into a store and stole a bottle of deodorant. I know what you're thinking, he must have received a spanking, perhaps on the wrist. Maybe he was led down to the store and ordered, in a moment of public humiliation, to return the deodorant (hopefully unused). He would have certainly learned a valuable lesson - don't steal other people's roll-on. Well, Mr Lou did learn a lesson. Acting Senior Resident Magistrate Vivienne Harris taught him that we are fed up of criminal elements and, just as Mr. Lou sought to clean up his underarms, we're cleaning up our crime mess. Mr Lou's punishment - three years in prison.

Thief #2

Bank teller Shaneal Amos must have been working up a serious sweat as she apparently needed a lot of deodorant. She confessed to stealing $500,000 from a customer's account. Now, children, if you were paying attention, you might deduce that her sentence would be too great to count on all your fingers and toes. Even at Sovereign, a half-million dollars buys far more than the one bottle of deodorant that landed Mr Lou in jail for three years.

It appeared the distinguished judge, Senior Resident Magistrate (RM) Judith Pusey, agreed, proclaiming that she saw absolutely no justification for the teller's misbehaviour. Surely the crafty teller could bank on being dealt a massive sentence. But, as singer I-Octane reminded us, life isn't as simple as 1-2-3, certainly not in matters of justice in this country. The learned judge handed down a whopping nine-month sentence - one month for each count of larceny. Of course, every good drama needs a last-minute twist. Upon hearing the punishment, a shocked Ms Amos begged for reprieve to repay the monies and avoid prison. Instead of chuckling at this comical request, RM Pusey complied, giving the defendant until January 3, 2011 to pay.

Thief #3

Jamaicans pay income tax on interest at a rate of 25 per cent. Generally, banks are required to collect these tax monies and turn them over to the Government. Certain taxpayers, including pension funds - in which your old granny's retirement monies are invested - are exempt from this tax. The government is required to reimburse these exempt entities within 45 days. Under the International Monetary Fund (IMF) stand-by agreement, the monies are considered to be in arrears - or overdue - after 90 days.

The Government currently owes $20 billion in overdue monies to these pension funds and others. Like the deodorant thief and the bank teller, the Government took something that didn't belong to it. No serious effort has been mounted to return the monies. In fact, the $20 billion in arrears has ballooned from $7 billion in 2008. I fail to understand why the Government should not be dragged before the court and slapped with criminal charges.

We made an example of the deodorant thief. Two previous drug convictions plus absconding from a drug-treatment facility certainly didn't aid his cause. In contrast, the bank teller's 'punishment' underscores the glaring injustice that permeates the criminal-justice system. But, we've long known that in Jamaica, white-collar criminals face a more merciful justice. They are, however, at least required to promptly and fully repay stolen monies. The Government, on the other hand, hasn't had to answer to anyone. But, due to mounting pressure from the IMF to clear up this obligation, a suggestion is now on the table to issue medium and long-term bonds - more debt - to repay the pensioners.

So, children, to recap the lesson, if you become thieves, shoot for the stars. If you fail, at least you'll land atop the Government, immune from legal punishment and accountability.

Din Duggan is an attorney and entrepreneur who now works as a consultant with a global legal-search firm. Contact him at facebook.com/dinduggan, twitter.com/YoungDuggan, or dinduggan@gmail.com.