Let's talk life

The Christmas season stresses me

Dear Counsellor:

I dread the Christmas season, as I feel very overwhelmed and panicky. I feel very stressed and am unable to sleep at nights. I worry about the list of things I have to do. There is financial stress as well because things are expensive and my list is long.

- Evadney

Dear Evadney:

Stress is associated with Christmas time: many parties to attend, many gifts to buy and little money to spend.

Make a list of the party invitations. Assess which one of the company parties it is wise to attend. You have to be strategic and wise in making your selection. You need to conserve energy and money so that when January comes, you don't feel tired and broke.

In the future, shop earlier in the year so that you pay less for things. Take advantage of discounts and sales, as well as wholesale purchases. Have a Christmas fund that you add to each month so that you will have money at Christmas time. Think of unusual gifts or make a gift package to suit each individual. If you have the money, you can work with a personal shopper. You can discuss the things you would like and the price you are willing to pay per gift.

Be creative and think widely when thinking of gifts. You should shop in the mornings before the crowd descends on the plazas.

I wanna get rid of my shyness

Dear Counsellor:

I am a shy person and find it difficult to make friends. Whenever I attend events, I sit by myself and leave the function early. I prefer to stay at home and play music or watch television. My New Year's resolution is to try to make friends.

- Pamela

Dear Pamela:

Making friends is one of the basic skills humans need. You must be highly motivated and full of enthusiasm to embark on major changes. You will need to go slowly, taking things one day at a time. A therapist can help you to develop the much-needed skill and will be your support in this project.

Interpersonal relationships depend on the interest of the individuals and their purposes. Some people are naturally friendly and get along well with others. Sharing, being respectful of people's time, and showing compassion and empathy are good values to have.

Be a good listener and take turns in conversations. Have the individual's best interests at heart and be genuine in your compliments and praises. Take time to be interested in what the other person is saying. Remember to be tolerant of others' view.

Treat people the way you would like to be treated. Try to remember the person's name and call it often enough so that the memory is reinforced. Be positive and optimistic in your endeavours.

Email questions and comments for Dr Yvonnie Bailey-Davidson to yvonniebd@hotmail.com or phone her at 978-8602.