Doctor's advice - Am I really infertile at 21?

Q. Hi there, doc. I am a 21-year-old guy. I recently had sex with my girlfriend and I actually 'came' inside her two times. But she did not get pregnant. Does this mean there is something wrong with me, like infertility?

A. No, it does not mean anything of the kind. I think you have not grasped the fact that a single act of intercourse is not necessarily going to make a woman pregnant.

It may do so, but very often it does not. Indeed, scientists have calculated that only about one 'sex act' in 20 will result in pregnancy. To put it another way, in horse-racing terms, the odds against conceiving from a single act of intercourse are around 19 to one against.

Much depends on where the woman is in her monthly cycle. So if a fertile couple make love when the female is near her ovulation day, then there is a very high chance that she will conceive. But if they have sex when she is a week or so away from her ovulation day, then the chances of pregnancy are very much less.

Frankly, I would say that on these two occasions you were lucky to 'get away with it'. Next time you have unprotected sex, you might not be so lucky!  Therefore, I urge you and your girlfriend to get yourself some good contraception. For a start, you could buy yourself a few packs of condoms.

Q. I recently started having sex with my new boyfriend. It feels good but, for whatever reason, I do not reach a climax. A friend told me that oral sex would help, so I persuaded my boyfriend to do it for me. But as nice as it felt, it did not make me orgasm. I really love this guy, and I do not want to lose him over the fact that I do not have an orgasm. He thinks that he cannot satisfy my sexual needs. What can I do to fix this as soon as possible, doc?

A. What concerns me about your email is your use of the words 'as soon as possible'. Female orgasm is a difficult and often elusive thing. You cannot just switch it on, as you would an electric light.

Research has shown that a lot of young women do not reach orgasm with their partners till they have been with them for several years. I have seen numerous patients who did not reach 'the Big O' until they were far into their 20s. And I am afraid that there is no pill or cream that will suddenly make a woman orgasmic.

So although you will not like this advice, I must urge you to be patient. Do not let yourself get obsessed with orgasms, which is what seems to be happening at the moment! Just enjoy sex with this guy who you love, and be grateful that you find it pleasurable. Plenty of younger females do not!  Incidentally, please take care that you do not get pregnant while you are enjoying all this sex.

I do not really believe that your boyfriend would leave you if did not start orgasming soon! If he left you for such a trivial reason, he wouldn't be much of a human being, would he?

One final point, something you wrote in the unpublished part of your email suggests to me that you probably have orgasmed in the past. If that is so, then a good move would be to show your boyfriend what has worked for you on previous occasion(s). For instance, if you have climaxed by putting your finger on your clitoris in a particular way, then encourage him to place his fingertip in the same position. But, I repeat, just enjoy what you have at the moment, and the orgasms will arrive eventually. I wish you well.

Q. On a visit to the Corporate Area last month, I went with a girl who I think may have been a professional. At least, she accepted some money from me. Should I now get myself an antibiotic, in case she has given me gonorrhoea?

A. No. If she had given you gonorrhoea, you would have developed symptoms long ago. However, it is very possible that you might have picked up something else, like chlamydia, which often produces no symptoms. So you should go to a doc and take some tests.

Q. I am 18 and thinking of using internal sanitary protection. But is it true that the little tampon things can make period pain worse?

A. No, that is just a myth. Tampons have no effect at all on menstrual pain. Indeed, in general, they make periods a good deal easier to cope with. However, you must take great care to be hygienic when handling them. In particular, your hands must be real clean when you put one in. The reason for this is that it is essential to avoid introducing germs into your womb. So, please, follow the directions which are printed on the instruction leaflet.

Q. I am a guy of 20, and I am real worried about the fact that after I have just had sex, I have some difficulty in passing urine properly. It seems to come out in two 'streams' and may even spray on the floor. Is there something wrong with me, like prostate trouble?

A. No. What you have observed is a normal phenomenon. It happens to many men after having sex. All that is happening is that a little bit of seminal fluid has been left behind in the urinary pipe. This causes a very slight and temporary obstruction to the passage of urine, so that for a few seconds the guy does not obtain a good stream. It is nothing to fret about.

Q. I am female, aged 19, and I am thinking of having a pubic waxing, in the shape of a 'landing strip'. But, are there any dangers in this, doc?

A Waxing has become real common in recent years, as has pubic shaving. The 'landing strip' or 'air strip' is of course a version of these procedures in which the woman just retains a small rectangular patch of pubic hair, running upwards in the area of skin which is located not far above the clitoris.

I presume you are going to some kind of beauty expert or waxing consultant to have this done. When such procedures are carried out by a professional, there is very little risk of anything going wrong. However, I have occasionally seen patients who developed a mild folliculitis after being shaved or waved. Folliculitis is a minor inflammation of the tiny openings out of which hairs grow. It is not a serious or dangerous condition.

Q. I am pregnant for the first time, at the age of 22. Is it OK for my fiancé and me to continue having sex, doc?

A. Yes, unless your midwife or doctor says there is any reason why you should not do so. In days gone by, it was thought that pregnant women should not have sex, but that is no longer considered to be the case.

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