Valentine's, Parkinson's and Manatt

Egerton Chang, Sunday Gleaner Columnist

I fell in a pothole and it ruined my Valentine's Day. It happened four years ago. I had planned an elaborate evening of celebration with my wife. We were to do dinner at an upscale restaurant and then go elsewhere for drinks. It was supposed to be a romantic evening.

At the time, The Gleaner was running a competition whereby valentines were asked to compose a poem to their intended and the victor would win an all-inclusive weekend for two. Being a romantic at heart, I had submitted a poem to the woman that I had loved for more than 25 years. Unfortunately, it was not selected. I had instead planned to reveal it to her at an opportune time later that evening.

My wife had just acquired a second-hand vehicle and I took the steering wheel. Within a furlong of my home, I drove into a pothole. My valentine started to berate me for not avoiding the pothole. That ruined my intentions for the evening, and I, in vexation, returned home directly.

For what it's worth, the poem went as follows:

Be My Wife ... Again

Times are trying

Lord, how they are.

For over 25 years

You have stuck by me,

Through thick and thin,

Our brood numbering four,

One after marriage some eight years ago.

Actually raising two more.

(Your first and your sister's)

Never having a true honeymoon,

Through pressures,

Pressures from raising these same children.

Work pressures,

Life pressures,

Life has been far from perfect

You deserve better.

So I am proposing to you once again,

Will you be my valentine?

Will you?

Will you marry me ...

... Again?

Last night, I slept on the floor. Actually, I also slept on the floor the night before. In truth, I have been sleeping on the floor for years. It is not because I have been put in the doghouse by my wife (even though that happens more than occasionally). You see, I have Parkinson's disease. I have had it for some time now.

According to Mayoclinic.com: "The symptoms of Parkinson's disease can vary from person to person. Early signs may be subtle and can go unnoticed. Symptoms typically begin on one side of the body and usually remain worse on that side, even after symptoms begin to affect both sides. Parkinson's signs and symptoms may include:

Tremor: The characteristic shaking associated with PD often begins in a hand.

Slowed motion (bradykinesia): Over time, Parkinson's may reduce your ability to initiate voluntary movement. This may make even the simplest tasks difficult and time-consuming.

Rigid muscles: Muscle stiffness can occur in any part of your body. Sometimes the stiffness can be so severe that it limits the range of your movements and causes pain.

Impaired posture and balance. Your posture may become stooped as a result of PD. Balance problems also may occur.

Loss of automatic movements: Some people may develop a fixed staring expression and unblinking eyes.

Speech changes: Many people with PD have problems with speech. You may speak more softly, rapidly, or in a monotone, sometimes slurring or repeating words, or hesitating before speaking.

Dementia: Usually in the later stages of Parkinson's.

I am happy to say that the most evident of all my symptoms is the tremors in my hands. I have also noticed that sometimes I find it difficult to speak loudly and occasionally slur my words, while I infrequently have problems with balance and bouncing into objects. The slowed motion, rigid muscles, impaired posture and balance, and loss of automatic movements have normally been so minimal as to sometimes fool general practitioners. In fact, one physician, at a paramedical unit of a top life insurance company, recently expressed surprise that I dressed myself and buttoned and zipped my clothes, activities that PD sufferers often find difficult. She actually questioned if I indeed had PD.

My consultant neurologist, Dr Daniel Graham, says these good results have definitely been helped by the fact that I have been going to the gym for the past year and a half (but more on me and the gym another time).

Anyway, while I remain an eternal optimist, I don't fool myself as to what is likely to come. PD is a progressively worsening disease. My relative well-being may portend dark days ahead.

Yet, I am comforted by reports like the following (eHow.com):

A study published in the March 2009 issue of Movement Disorders reported that after 10 years, a normal life expectancy is possible for Parkinson's patients. The 238 patients in the study lived to an average age of 77.

The study showed that PD patients who lived with the disease for 15 to 20 years or longer had only a slightly lower survival rate than the rest of the population.

I have been diagnosed with Parkinson's for more than 10 years now, so that if I were to live for another five to 10 years, my survival rate should be just slightly lower than that of the general population.

Which brings me back to my unusual sleeping habit. Because of the relative rigidity of some of my muscles, I find turning in bed a trifle difficult, made easier by sleeping on a firm surface, i.e., the floor. Normally, I just sleep on a rug, but I recently had the luxury of doubling the thickness by adding another rug. The good side is that no one can kick me off my bed. Nor can I roll off. The bad side is that people continually walk all over my bed.

Famous PD sufferers include Muhammad Ali, Michael J. Fox, Mao Zedong, Janet Reno, Pierre Trudeau, and Pope John Paul II.

MANATT

I welcome the Manatt-Dudus commission of enquiry, if for no other reason but to observe, live and direct, such prominent persons in the witness box being examined and cross-examined. I thought that this examination only happens at the gates of heaven.

Wouldn't it be nice to observe such an enquiry involving other such top-ranking individuals? Please, sirs, could we have this spectacle serialised, with special guest appearances and all?

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