Let's talk Life: Handling rebellious teen

Yvonnie Bailey- Davidson, Contributor

Dear Counsellor,

My teenager has become rebellious and defiant. She is sexually active and is not doing any schoolwork. Sometimes I feel like putting her through the door.

- Marissa

Dear Marissa:

Unfortunately, some parents have troubled teenagers. Many teenagers stretch the limits of good behaviour. They take unnecessary risks and endanger themselves. You need to encourage her to stop having sex, as this puts her at risk for sexually transmitted diseases like HIV and unplanned pregnancies.

The other day, I watched some of the people that our children now listen to and I was appalled by the content of the songs, as they were speaking about sexual intercourse. Children nowadays are exposed to explicit sexual activity and feel that they should engage in sex.

If your daughter will not listen to you, you can speak with the guidance counsellor at her school. She may be able to reach her and get her to change her behaviour. I know it is difficult to deal with rebellious teens. Maybe she might be willing to speak with a therapist about the issues that are of concern to her.

Academic achievement is important and we need to impart this to teenagers. Many teenagers waste their time at school and then need money to go to extra lessons.

In Jamaica, we need residential facilities to keep teenagers with problems. It would be good if corporate Jamaica could take on this venture. Pray for your daughter and put her in God's hands, because he can make this right.

Poor parenting skills

Dear Counsellor:

I am concerned about the parenting skills of our parents. I am worried that the children will grow up to be drug users, lazy bodies or unproductive.

- Vivienne

Dear Vivienne:

Parenting is a situation where parents learn as they go along. Children do not come with a guide book and no two parent-child relationships are the same.

Parenting involves the child, parents, environment and culture. Society is filled with varied values, religions and morals. Parents have to set goals for their children and work towards this. I am sure each parent wants his/her child to be successful, healthy and wealthy.

Parents need to make rules and set expectations for their children to follow. New parents tend to follow what they see others doing. Parents need to be consistent in their behaviour and act as role models for others. Children do what they see their parents do and not what the parents say.

There is a whole industry built around parenting and so information is readily available. New mothers get upset because everyone has something to tell them about parenting. Nutrition and immunisation are important. In my practice, I find that many adolescents are anaemic. Girls tend to be at high risk for anaemia.

Email questions and feedback for Dr Yvonnie Bailey-Davidson to yvonniebd@hotmail.com or call 978-8602.