Doctor's Advice - Virginity lost in Clarendon

• Q. Doctor, can you please give me a good advice? I am female, age 21, and until last night I was a virgin. But yesterday evening I went to a party in Clarendon, and because I was feeling pretty miserable, I had too much to drink. The result was that around midnight, I went into a bedroom with a guy I had never met before, and had sex with him.

Crazily, I let him go all the way, so that he discharged inside me. I wish I could say that I enjoyed it, but in fact I did not. The moment it was over, I thought: "What have I done?" By the time I had sobered up and got my clothes on, the boy had left the party with his friends. I have no idea how to contact him.

I am sure you are wondering about my menstrual cycle. Well, I started my menses about five days before this event. My periods usually last for four days. And I can expect them every four weeks. So, Doc: what are the chances that I might be pregnant? And could I have caught some infection? I feel so low that I just do not know what to do.

A. Sorry to hear about all this. In your story, there are several features which should act as a warning to young people, and particularly females. They are as follows:

First, sex is often very disappointing, especially for the young woman. People should never agree to have sex when they have had too much to drink, because their judgement will be clouded.

It is unwise to have sex with someone who you have only just met. However, I am not here to criticise, so let me now concentrate on your current situation. Regrettably, it is now too late for you to take the morning-after pill, which is also known as the post-coital pill. So are you pregnant?

Well, a lot depends on your menstrual cycle. Sounds like you are what doctors call '4/28', which means that you bleed for four days every 28. And it appears that you had sex on the fifth day of your cycle, which in your case is the day after the menses finished.

I am pleased to tell you that although conception can sometimes occur on that day, the odds are against it. So the probability is that you are going to be OK. Obviously, you have to wait and see if your period arrives this month. If it seems to be late, please do a pregnancy test.

The next thing I must say to you is that a one-night stand like this one can often cause transmission of a sexually transmitted infection. So I feel you should go to a doctor for a check-up.

Finally, you mention the low feelings you have been experiencing. It sounds like these were the reason why you had too much to drink, and gave in to this boy. My guess is that you may be a little depressed. So I think you should talk that over with the doctor who you go and see. You may need some anti-depression medication. And probably you could do with some counselling to improve your self-esteem.

• Q. Doc, I have been getting intense itching on my penis. This is real worrying. My friends say it may be that condition called crabs. Is that possible?

A. Crabs or pubic lice only affect the pubic hair because of the fact that they need hairs to attach their eggs on. They do not normally affect the penis, so I guess you must have some other problem. Possibly it is a skin disorder, such as eczema, or a fungus infection. Anyway, you need to let a doctor take a look.

• Q. I am 19 year-old, female, and I have a sore bump in the hairs on my private. Is this cancer? Please help me, Doc.

A. Cancer of the vulva does occur in much older women, but is incredibly rare at age 19. So it is likely that you have some trivial problem, such as an inflamed hair follicle. But if it does not go away within a week, please have a doctor check it out.

• Q. I am a young guy, and I am worried that the number of orgasms which I am having per week might be bad for my spine or my brain. I estimate that most weeks I have two orgasms through sexy dream and one through masturbation. Is that excessive, Doc?

A. No. Dr Kinsey's research in the United States of America found that in the under-20 age group, it was statistically average to experience around three orgasms for the week. Among the population which he studied, most of these orgasms came from wet dreams and masturbation. As I have explained before in this column, orgasms cannot harm your spine, your brain or any other part of you body. So please quit fretting.

Q. I understand that the female clitoris is like a small penis, and some of my friends say that it should be several inches long. But mine is only tiny, and I am terrified that I am abnormal.

A. Relax. The average clitoris is only about the size of a gungo pea. I am sure that you are not abnormal. But if you want reassurance, why not go to a sympathetic female doctor, who can look at your clitoris and tell you in a moment whether it is OK.

Q. \ Unfortunately, I behaved rather stupidly the last time I was in the country, and I picked up gonorrhoea from a girl I met. Fortunately, my family has a good doctor, and he quickly cured me. But is there any danger that this episode has made me infertile?

A. Gonorrhoea (the clap) can make guys infertile, and also give them serious urinary problems. But if the infection is treated promptly and correctly, these things do not happen. So I am sure you will be OK.

Q. I did a lot of French kissing with a guy I met in Negril. Is there any chance this could have given me AIDS?

A. Let us make sure that we are talking about the same thing! The expression French kissing is generally used to mean the type of kissing in which people put their tongues into each other's mouths. A scientific committee has found that this activity is most unlikely to transmit HIV, which is the virus that causes AIDS. There is a tiny chance that French kissing could pass on other sexually transmitted infections, such as syphilis, but I have never seen such a case.

For completeness, I must add that any kind of kissing can transmit various infections which are regarded as non-sexual. These include glandular fever (also known as infectious mononucleosis or mono), 'flu and the common cold. Finally, kissing of any sort can pass on cold sores (Herpes labialis). A major danger occurs when a person with a cold sore on the lip decides to kiss a baby, and so gives the poor child the virus for life!

Send feedback/questions to editor@gleanerjm.com and read more Doctor's Advice in the Saturday Gleaner.