Let's Talk Life: How do I grow my child well?

Yvonnie Bailey- Davidson, Gleaner Writer

Dear Counsellor:

I have a baby and would like some expert advice on child-rearing practices.

- Johanna

Dear Johanna:

Parenting can be a learned behaviour from our relatives and friends. One can do courses on parenting or get information from doctors or teachers. The objectives of child rearing are to have a productive adult who is happy with himself and others and has a spiritual life. It is important that infants are adequately stimulated and small children are trained in the social, physical, educational, emotional skills which will enable them to function appropriately.

Emotional, intellectual and social intelligence need to develop in our young ones. Most tests are dependent on a child's exposure and experiences.

You need to speak with your baby even though it will seem like a chore because the baby cannot yet speak. The baby needs to be exposed to words and their meaning, as their ability to understand needs to be developed.

Read picture books together and sing songs - especially soothing ones - with her. A baby needs to learn to soothe himself and this skill is needed throughout life. Your baby is looking to you to guide and direct her path. Parenting a baby is not just about feeding, bathing or cleaning. Children are looking to parents to help them manage their emotions, especially anger. Teach your child social skills of please, thank you, may I. He needs to practise rewarding himself for task done as he needs to build confidence, self-esteem, motivation and happiness. We tend to focus on punishment and this can result in damage to the child.

Don't neglect child

Many children are abused physically, emotionally and psychologically, especially when they are being punished. Neglect and abandonment also occur and so some children are in institutions, adoption or foster care. You must recognise that a mother or father cannot be replaced, and many adults spend millions of dollars getting therapy for childhood problems that are interfering with adult life.

Parenting is big responsibility and should not be entered in lightly. The reward of taking care of your baby is a smiling baby who recognises you and looks forward to seeing you. Spend plenty of time with your baby. In some cultures, the baby is carried around daily close to the mother. Cuddle, nurture and be happy with the baby. If you are depressed, then you need to get treatment because the development of your baby will be affected.

Help! I can't control my hyperactive son

Dear Counsellor:

My son is very impulsive and hyperactive and I cannot seem to control him. The teacher complains of him being disruptive and not focused.

- Monica

Dear Monica:

Young children tend to be hyperactive, but as they grow older the behaviour lessens. Some children have allergies or reaction to sugars and dyes. Check out these things. Diet is important and you need to see that he is eating healthy. Look at your parenting skills, and determine if you need to set boundaries and limits. Adequate sleep and exercise are important.

Get your son assessed as he may have attention deficit disorder, which can be treated. Be of good cheer as help is available.

Email questions and feedback for Dr Yvonnie Bailey-Davidson to yvonniebd@hotmail.com or call 978-8602.