Market mania

Wherever you might have been standing in the Old Hope Road area of St Andrew on Friday last, it would have been clear to you that something big was going on. Long lines of shiny SUVs were headed into the Ministry of Agriculture's complex for a farmers' market. An equal number of sweat-covered pedestrians also sought entry into the already crowded market where heavy winds, coupled with dusty grounds, left many with dirty shoes.

It was a warm morning and it appeared there was some amount of haste among early shoppers to get the best of the available produce.

An elderly man walking next to a much younger woman was carrying a huge plastic bag full of what looked like cabbage.

"Hold it good, Lee," said the woman.

"Lucky thing we come out so early because see the crowd reach now."

The man grunted and adjusted the bag, the weight of which seemed to be getting the better of him.

"Next time you bring Max with you instead, you see," he said, under his breath. "I want to know if is cabbage you plan to eat whole month."

Further inside, sellers seemed to be doing big business. One farmer, whose giant ID card hanging around his neck gave his name as Everol, was busily sorting carrots when a woman with a mole on her cheek walked up to him.

"Excuse me, sir, how much for your carrots?" she asked. Everol continued moving the bright orange carrots around with impressive dexterity.

"Hello, please," the woman repeated. Still no reaction from Everol.

"Yow!" the woman yelled.

With that, Everol's focus was jolted from the task before him and he looked up anxiously at the woman.

"Eh?" he said.

"Oh, so is so mi have to talk to you?" the woman said.

Everol looked confused.

"No, man, because I am here saying hello and can't get a reaction, and as soon as mi seh 'yow', is you dat," she explained.

Everol broke into a hearty chuckle.

"Har har hee! No man, cho!" said Everol, waving his hand.

"Is just dat mi used to, man. When mi deh ah bush ah so mi call di cow dem!" he laughed.

'not coming back'

A woman wearing a shiny wig and sporting an equally sparkling gold tooth was standing next to Everol and seemed to have been working with him. She intervened.

"Nuh mine lady, ah just so we haffi do it, yuh know?" she said.

The woman with the mole on her cheek looked surprised but went on to request a pound of the pair's finest carrots.

Meanwhile, three elderly women were involved in a bit of a conference not far away.

"Mi not coming back," said the plumpest of the lot. She had a cross look on her face and used a folded newspaper to fan herself.

"Mi don't see what mi looking for and it too far," she mumbled.

One of the other women cleared her throat. She was wearing spectacles and shifted them slightly on her nose.

"Well mi nuh really have to come back neither, because mi only go market two time for the month. This is enough for me," she said.

The woman with the newspaper fan looked annoyed.

"That is not what I am saying, Merle!" she said. Merle went silent.

"What I am saying is that I find cheaper price over by Papine and it don't cost me so much by taxi," the fanning woman said.

Merle rolled her eyes but said nothing. The third woman smiled uncomfortably.

Meanwhile, a burly man carrying a sack of bananas stopped to remove a pebble from his right shoe. A short woman walked by and peered into the sack. "How much for yuh banana?" she asked. The man grunted.

"Is buy mi buy mi banana dem. Mi nuh sell banana," he said, dryly.

The woman seemed taken aback by the tone of the reply and stormed off with her nose in the air. The man took up the sack and walked away, muttering to himself.

"Mussi tink mi look like banana man," he said.

Where should Robert go next? Let him know at robert.lalah@gleanerjm.com