Let's talk Life: Training up a child

Yvonnie Bailey- Davidson, Contributor

Dear Counsellor,

I would like you to discuss the benefits of spirituality to child rearing.

- Maxine

Dear Maxine,

Spirituality is the most important aspect of life. We all question our existence and purpose and meaning. Children need guidance about these things. As youngsters, they will have questions about death and suffering.

Faith-based organisations, like churches, are good for everyone. It provides role models for children as well as mentors. They are learning institutions which children can attend and participate in special activities to gain experience. Their memories are improved by the teaching of memory gems and scripture verses. Children learn public speaking from participating in concerts and reading the Bible aloud in the services. Drama and creativity are enhanced by the activities of Sunday schools.

Truth, kindness and compassion are highly valued and are taught to children. The Bible stories encourage children to trust God and honour their parents. They are told to be respectful to their seniors, and be helpful to those in need. The weekly meetings of the same people provide friends and colleagues who can pray collectively for you each day. The support that a church provides is invaluable and needed by all members.

Through such organisations, children learn to work in groups and with those less fortunate than themselves. Volunteering in church is highly valued and children learn early to look out for the sick and the elderly. The members of a church are very important spiritual guides for the children. They follow what the adults do and that village is raising those children.

Some parents do not send their children to church and so they are missing out on a lot of value-based teaching. Many children learn to read from the Bible and imitate the pastors in their play activities. Some churches have social programmes like skills-training, lunch programmes and schools.

Children benefit as well as their parents. Take for instance, anger management - a soft answer turn away wrath but grievous words stir up anger. Forgive not only once but many times. Premarital sex and extramarital affairs are frown on as these cause a multiple of problems. Unwanted children, child abuse, cervical cancers and HIV infections.

We all need a higher power who is in charge and who will take care of us.

Defiant daughter

Dear Counsellor,

I have a teenage daughter who has become defiant and disobedient. I need help to deal with this.

- Carol

Dear Carol,

Parent-child relationships can be fraught with challenges. Parents are role models and mentors for their children.

Parents have to set limits and boundaries and teach children to manage these. Children need to learn self-control and how to be responsible. Your daughter is testing your limits and developmentally she is trying to find out if she can run her own show. Soon she will be on her own. She needs to be seen by a therapist to look at all these issues.

Teenagers need a lot of help and support and nurturing. They need their parents nearby with lots of love and affection. They will be disciplined and corrected.

Both of you should go and see the therapist.

Email questions and feedback for Dr Yvonnie Bailey-Davidson to yvonniebd@hotmail.com or call 978-8602.