DOCTOR'S ADVICE: Why has my wife changed?

Q: Doctor, I am concerned about my wife. At the age of 37, she has suddenly stopped 'discharging'.

Does this indicate that she has another man? I have not asked her. Your advice would be appreciated.

A: When a woman suddenly stops orgasming in her 30s, there must be some important reason for it. I do not think it is very likely that the cause for your wife's recent failure to climax is that she has acquired a lover. I think there are a number of possibilities to consider:

Your wife is suddenly experiencing pain during intercourse, but she has not told you;

She is suffering from depression;

She is on some medication that prevents her from climaxing;

She has recently developed a major hormone problem, like early menopause;

She is no longer in love with you.

You are doing something in bed that is putting her off.

I cannot say which one of these reasons are the cause, but I feel you should think over these possibilities carefully and then discuss them with her. It does not sound as though you have spoken to her.

Once the two of you have discussed what is going on, it would probably be a good idea see a doctor who is experienced in such area. The doctor will probably want to have a long talk with both of you and probably examine your wife and order some blood hormone tests. I wish you both well.

Q: I have recently acquired a much older lover. He is Canadian and very fair skinned. What puzzles me is this: About half an hour before we have sex, he suddenly becomes very pink in the face. Whenever I ask him about this, he just laughs. What is going on, doctor?

A: Your story strongly suggests that this older lover is taking Viagra, or another erection-producing drugs, shortly before he makes love to you.

Viagra, like the other 'erection pills,' can have side effects which are pretty mild. One of the effects is widening of the blood vessels (tubes) which supply the face and head. The result is that men tend to get either a slight headache or a 'full' feeling in the face.

Should you ask your boyfriend whether he is taking Viagra? Well, you could. But it might be more diplomatic and discreet to let him keep this a secret.

Q: I am a 32-year-old man and I'm wondering if you could help me with a very taboo and sensitive topic. I have managed to retain my virginity all these years because I believe that sex should be between people who love each other.

But what I want to know is: what is the function of the 'skinny' on penises, and why do some nationalities look different?

A: Congratulations on still being a virgin. It is good to see that you are sticking to your moral principles, though of course not everyone agrees with you.

As it relates to your question, I am not sure that I have understood you correctly. If you want to email me again to clarify your query, please do so.

I think you are asking about the function of the foreskin. Well, not everything on the human body has a function. But many doctors would say that the foreskin, also known as the prepuce, protects the delicate area of the tip of the penis from injury, particularly during childhood.

The main reason why men of other nations look different in your eyes is that in certain areas of the world, circumcision is widely practised. For instance, most men in the Middle East are circumcised. So are many American men although there is quite a considerable movement against circumcision in the United States.

Q: I am 31, and have a very light period. My fiancé is pressing me to have a coil fitted.

But would it make my periods heavier?

A: The coil (intra-uterine device or IUD) does tend to make the period a little heavier. But because you have very light period that probably would not matter.

However, I do not think that you should allow yourself to be pressured into having an IUD. Choose the method of family planning that you want!

Q: I have been around a bit and I currently have two girlfriends. One is in Portland and one in Trelawny. I do not sleep with anyone else.

What I would really like to know, doctor, is this: Is there any chance of me getting VD?

A: If the two women were completely faithful to you, then you would be in no danger at all.

However, in this world, many persons do have affairs, and it would not be smart to assume that your two girlfriends are totally faithful.

If one of them has sex with another man, then you would almost certainly catch it too. And you would probably then give it to your other girlfriend.

You have been warned.

Q: I am a 42-year-old female and I am finding it increasingly difficult to accommodate my husband. This is because my hips are so stiff that I cannot move them apart far enough. Help !

A: Sounds like you have arthritis of the hip joints. So you need to see a surgeon soon to find out if an operation would help you.

In the meantime, I suggest two things:

Take an anti-rheumatic pill about two hours before having sex.

Encourage your husband to try other positions which do not require you to spread your hips; for instance, you could lie on your side, with your husband close behind you, in what is known as the spoon position.

Q: I am a 40-year-old man and have recently met a wonderful woman who is 20 and who wants to marry me and have a baby with me. But at my age, is my fertility impaired?

A: No, it shouldn't be. Men in their 40s generally have perfectly normal sperm counts and have no difficulty in becoming fathers. This is quite a contrast to women, whose fertility does tend to diminish in their 40s.

Q: I had a hysterectomy some years ago. I have not had a sex partner in the last few years. But would it still be possible for me to have sex, doctor?

A: Certainly. Some women still have the idea that after a hysterectomy (that is, removal of the womb), you cannot have sex. But that just isn't true.

If you are thinking of starting a relationship, I advise you to go to a knowledgeable doctor, and have her give you and examination. She might possibly suggest that you use a lubricant, or some hormone cream.

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