Doctor's ADVICE: Did oral sex make me PREGNANT?

Q Doc, I did something real crazy last month, and the result is that I am pregnant. I am 17 years old and do not know much about sex. I cannot believe that I was so unwise, but I had had some alcohol, and I think that clouded my judgement.

To cut a long story short, Doc, I had sex with two different boys in the same evening. One was at about 7 o'clock and the other at around 10 o'clock. Fourteen days later, my menses did not arrive. I did a test, and I think it was positive. What I would like to know is this: Which of the two boys is the father?

One of them had sex with me in the vaginal way, and I do not think he discharged. The other had oral sex with me, and he definitely did discharge in the mouth.

A Well, as you say, you really do not know very much about sex. I would strongly recommend that you have some talks with an older, more experienced woman, who can help you understand things.

If you cannot talk with your mother, or indeed do not have a mother, then try to find a friendly nurse, midwife or youth counsellor who would be kind enough to chat with you.

As it relates to your present situation, I am sorry that you think you are pregnant. Are you absolutely sure about this? You seem a little uncertain about whether the test was really positive.

But if it was, then the baby's father must be the boy who had vaginal intercourse with you. It does not matter that you do not think that he discharged. Maybe he did, maybe he did not. But a man can sometimes get a woman pregnant without orgasming.

In contrast, it is almost impossible to get pregnant as a result of oral sex. So the other young guy is not the baby's father.

One final point: Your story is a warning to teenage girls. Alcohol is really dangerous for young women. It makes them likely to do foolish things, and take great sexual risks. Sadly, that is what happened in your case.

So please, do seek some experienced and kindly help and advice right away. I wish you well.

Why is sex so painful?

Q My fiancée and I are both aged 22. She experiences pain deep inside her whenever we have sex.

She went to a gynaecologist, and he examined her and told her where nothing is wrong physically. He said that she had something called collision dyspareunia. But what is that, please?

A OK, the word dyspareunia just means painful intercourse. And the expression collision dyspareunia means that the pain is caused from the collision between the end of the guy's penis and the woman's cervix. The cervix is located at the inner end of the vagina.

Collision dyspareunia often occurs where the male has a fairly long organ, especially if the female has difficulty in relaxing her vagina. So there is not quite enough room inside.

Your best course of action is to encourage your fiancée to relax as much as possible by creating a romantic atmosphere in the bedroom, and giving her lots of love play. Many young couples have the same problem as you two do and, in general, matters improve greatly when the lady learns to achieve total relaxation with her man.

Also, there is now a device which is helpful for young people in this situation. It is a kind of ring which the guy wears during intercourse, and which prevents him from penetrating too deeply. For more details, just Google the four words 'come close painful sex'.

My menses suddenly hurt

Q I am 18, and until two years ago my menses were pain-free. But when I was 16, they started to hurt real badly. Why has this happened? It can be real agony, Doc.

A I'm sure it can. It is common for young women to have no pain until their periods have been happening for a while. The reason for this is that the early menstrual cycles often do not involve ovulation (egg release).

But once ovulation starts, then menstruation become a real pain!

So I would suggest that you ask a doctor to examine you, and maybe to prescribe a hormone tablet that will stop you ovulating. For instance, it could be the Pill.

Alternatively, there are now some real good painkillers for menstrual agony.

Why is blood in my sperm?

Q I am horrified to find that I have suddenly got blood in my sperm, Doc! What could the cause be? I am 19. Would it be cancer?

A Real unlikely at your age. In young guys, blood does sometimes occur in the seminal fluid. Most commonly, this is due to an infection, or to trauma - in other words, getting hit in the private parts. A very few cases are caused from tuberculosis. But in many instances, no cause is found, and the young man just gets better.

You should now consult a doctor, who will examine your equipment. When you go and see him, please take a urine specimen with you.

Is a bukkake safe?

Q I am working in show business as a dancer. A group of well-off guys are taking an interest in my career. And they want me to go in for something called 'bukkake'.

They say they will pay me a lot of money for this. But I do not really know what it is. Could it lead to pregnancy, or infection, Doc?

A I think you should have nothing to do with this idea. Bukkake is a Japanese word, and it means a sex activity, which originated in that country.

The details are not very nice, but basically a group of men stand round a naked girl and ejaculate (that is, discharge) over her face and body. Apparently, this gives them pleasure.

There is almost no danger of pregnancy unless any of the sperm somehow got into your vagina. Similarly, there is only a slight danger of sexually transmitted infection (STI) unless the liquid got into your intimate parts, or your mouth or eyes.

However, this is of course a form of prostitution. I urge you not to go down that dangerous road.

Am I burning out?

Q I am a guy of 23, and I find that I cannot have sex as many times in a night as I once used to. Is there something physically wrong with me, Doc?

A No. It is normal for a male to find that his capacity for repeated orgasm is somewhat diminished when he gets into his 20s. So quit fretting.

Does a coil hurt?

Q I have been advised that I should be fitted with a coil. But does it hurt, Doctor?

A Yes. Insertion of an intrauterine device (ID or coil) does hurt a bit, particularly if you have never had children.

However, most women find that the pain of the insertion is quickly over. Please talk to your doc or nurse before you decide to go ahead. They may suggest that you take painkilling tablets before the insertion. A few doctors inject a little local anaesthetic before putting the device in.

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