Doctor's advice - Am I too big for her?

• Am I too big for her?

Q.. Doc, I am 19, and my girlfriend is 18. We are both virgins, so far. What concerns us is this, I am pretty sure that my organ will be much too big to go inside her.I think I am quite a large guy, and neither of us can see how my 'bulk' could possibly fit inside her. I am sure that attempting to enter her would pain her.

If we went to a doctor and asked him about this, would he laugh at us? And is there any way of finding out whether I am too big, away from having intercourse? We want to postpone having sex for as long as possible.

A. Well, I think you are real wise to postpone having sex. Far too many people rush into sexual relationships, and then get themselves into all sorts of trouble.

However, I can assure you that your fears about being 'too big' to get inside your partner are unjustified. I have often been consulted by couples who thought that they would be unable to have sex because the male was too large. But in every case, they were eventually successful in enjoying intercourse.

The main reason for their success is the fact that the female vagina can expand an astonishing amount, once the woman is both relaxed and sexually excited. I am sure that all will be well when you two eventually get round to having sex.

You ask whether a doctor would laugh at you. I feel that is most unlikely! Indeed, I think it would be a good idea if the pair of you went and had a chat with a sympathetic doctor who is interested in contraception and similar matters. She would be able to advise your girlfriend about sexual hygiene, and about learning to relax in bed.

Finally, you enquire if there is any way in which you and your partner can check whether her vagina will be big enough for you. Well, some 'sexperts' would say that she could begin by using an internal vibrator, which is shaped like a penis. But that would certainly not be every young woman's cup of tea.

It would be more practical if she started using internal sanitary protections, ie tampons. These devices are not only efficient in controlling blood loss during the menses, but are also useful in helping younger women to get to know their bodies, and to find out how roomy the vagina really is. I wish you both well.

• Broken-organ fear

Q. A friend told me that I could break my male organ through masturbation. Is this true, Doc?

A. Fracture (breakage) of the penis is rare, but is real painful. However, it is almost impossible for such a disaster to happen as a result of masturbation.To do it, you would have to twist the organ very violently. I do not advise this.

• Pregnancy concern

Q. I am 20 and my boyfriend is 21. We are both virgins, but we 'fool around' a lot. That is to say, Doc, we go in for petting. What I urgently need to know is this, how much of a guy's fluid can cause a pregnancy?

A. One single drop would do it. So please be very careful.

• Passion at the port

Q. In my work, I travel by ship to Trinidad and, sometimes, Venezuela. And to be honest, Doc, I usually have a girl in each port I visit. Recently, I have developed a 'raw' spot on my organ. It does not hurt, but I decided to visit a doctor in Port-of-Spain. He examined me, and found that I had swellings in the groin. He said it was definitely a sexually transmitted infection (STI), and he told me where it could be something called 'LGV'. Is that serious, Doc? He did not give me any treatment.

A. Do you mean that you have been going with prostitutes in the various ports? If so, then it is highly probable that you have caught some form of STI.

The symptoms which you describe suggest two possible diagnoses:

1. Syphilis;
   
2. or LGV.

LGV stands for lympho-granuloma venereum. It is a type of STI, which is quite common in South America, Holland, and one or two Caribbean islands. It is caused from a type of chlamydia germ.

What you must do now is to consult a doctor in Jamaica urgently. You need lab tests, including a blood test. If those tests are positive, you will need antibiotic treatment, which should cure you.  But please do not have sex with anyone until you are completely cured.

• Why no orgasm yet?

Q.  I am 18 and female, and I started having sex two months ago. So far I have not had an orgasm. What is wrong with me? And should I try having sex with a different boy?

A.It would not help you to go with another boy! Please do not do this. What you have not realised is that many young women do not orgasm until a couple of years after starting to have sex. Those climaxes will eventually happen, but do not try to rush matters. Meantime, please practise only safe sex, so as to avoid pregnancy and infection.

• Worrying discharge

Q. I have been having my menses for around five years now. And I notice that towards the end of each period, I produce a sort of brown 'loss' or discharge. Is this serious, Doc?

A. I do not think so. Many young women notice a brown 'loss' towards the end of a period. Usually, this is just blood, which has been shed into the womb a few days earlier, and which has changed colour before it actually comes out. That is a normal thing with 'old' blood. I would like you just to have a brief check-up from a doctor. But I think she will be able to reassure you that all is well.

• Painful testicles

Q. I am a guy of 19, and a virgin. Whenever I kiss and cuddle with my new girlfriend, I find that I go home afterwards with pain in the testicles. Is this cancer?

A. No. This is the well-known feeling experienced by many young men when they get sexually excited, but do not discharge. It is due to congestion in the testicular area. Doctors sometimes call it 'orchitis amorosa'. So it is not an illness, but a normal phenomenon. It is usually possible to get rid of the ache by having an orgasm, for instance through masturbation.

• What's wrong?

Q. Hello. I am a 22-year-old female. I have had an unusual menstrual cycle since I was about 16. My menses come like three months apart. I went to a doctor two years ago, and he said "it's probably hormonal problems". He said I should not try to correct it until I want to get pregnant. Is there something seriously wrong with me?

A..You could just be anaemic. Or you could, as that doctor said, have hormone problems. This menstrual irregularity has been going on for a long time, and it should be sorted out now. Ideally, you could see a gynaecologist. But if that is not possible, then please consult a doctor who will help you by doing some blood tests for anaemia and hormone deficiency. Good luck.

Email questions for Doc to saturdaylife@gleanerjm.com.