Doctor's ADVICE: Kissing danger

Q Doc, is it all right to kiss a girl when you have a cold?

A Well, this is a really antisocial thing to do. When you have a mole-cold, you are producing lots of viruses from you mouth, nose and eyes.

Kissing a girl is highly likely to inject these viruses into her. That does not make it certain that she will catch your cold, but it does make it fairly likely. That is not a very kind thing to do to anybody.

So, in my view, if a person has a cold, then the best thing to do is to avoid kissing for the next few days.

Are pregnancy tests reliable?

Q I am 19, and last month I had unprotected sex with a boy. He then disappeared and I did not hear from him again. I do not have his phone number.

Guess what, Doc? My menses did not arrive! I was panic-stricken because I knew that having a baby would disrupt my university career.

However, I took a pregnancy test, and that was negative. A great relief! Now I have two questions for you, Doctor:

1. Can I rely on the result of this test being accurate?

2. Assuming I am not pregnant, why has my period not arrived?

A In answer to your first question, today's pregnancy tests are very accurate indeed. If a health professional did the test for you, then you can feel pretty sure that the negative result is correct. And if you did the test yourself, the result should still be dependable, provided that you followed the instructions to the letter.

As it relates to your second question, there are various reasons why a young woman's period has not arrived, even though she is not pregnant.

One of the commonest reasons is anaemia, which is weakness of the blood. Large numbers of younger females are anaemic because they have lost a lot of iron in their periods. Often, the body's response to this iron-loss is to shut down the menses - so as to save iron.

Another possibility if that you may have been under a lot of stress recently.

Very often, stress or worry can stop a period from arriving.

I must also mention that the disorder called anorexia often causes absence of menses. Do you think you have been deliberately avoiding eating recently in order to lose a lot of weight?

I think what you should do now is to wait and see if your next period arrives. It must be due real soon. If it does not occur, you should see a doctor for a check-up.

Riding the sexual wave

Q My fiancée wants me to have sex with her in the sea. I am quite excited about this, but I wonder if it would be safe for her?

A In the past, I have consulted several gynaecologists about this question of whether underwater sex is harmful. They all said that it was perfectly OK, and would not do the woman any harm. And it cannot harm the guy either!

However, you will find that seawater washes away a lot of the lady's natural lubrication. For that reason, having sex in the sea is not quite as easy as people think.

Pulling a fast five

Q I am not a success with women because I discharge far too soon, Doc. It happens after only around five seconds. They get real upset about this, as it makes them frustrated. What is wrong with me?

A You clearly have a bad case of premature ejaculation (PE). I would say that around 10 per cent of young men have this problem to some extent, but yours is clearly quite severe, since you can only last around five seconds.

It is not surprising that your previous sexual partners have been frustrated. But has it occurred to you that after you have ejaculated, that does not mean that you have to leave the lady lying there wishing that you had not stopped?

You see, it is perfectly possible for a guy who has climaxed to continue to stimulate his partner until she orgasms. You do this by employing love-play techniques with your fingers or perhaps your lips.

But what is to be done about your PE? Well, very mild cases often respond well to what are called distraction techniques. This phrase means that as soon as sex starts, you begin thinking of other matters, like sport!

Slide technique

In Jamaica, that distraction method is often known as 'slide' because guys used to try and think about a baseball player running for the home base and trying to slide the last few yards.

However, your case is much too severe for distraction techniques to work. In my view, what you need is to consult a skilled therapist or counsellor, who can teach you the brilliant Masters-Johnson method of delaying climax. But for this, you really need a regular, dependable partner. Trying to have sex in a series of one-night stands is not a good idea.

Another approach is to use orgasm-delaying medications. These are mostly antidepressant drugs, such as anafranil. You could go to a doctor and ask him to prescribe one of these for you.

Some guys buy these pills in bars, but this is not a good idea, as you do not know what you are getting! Also, you need the advice about possible side effects that only a doctor could provide you with.

Finally, there is an American drug called dapoxetine, which was developed for the purpose of delaying male climaxes. But it is difficult to obtain, and frankly the results are not all that good.

Sex after childbirth

Q I have just had a baby. How soon would it be safe for me to have sex?

A I tend to give rather cautious advice about this because I am aware that if a woman has intercourse too soon, there is a small risk of introducing germs into the womb.

So, my view is that you should not try full sex till the baby is two months old. However, your midwife or doctor will be pleased to give you advice about your particular case.

Sex after circumcision

Q I am a guy of 22, and last week I had to take a circumcision operation. It was real painful, Doc.

How soon can I have sex with my fiancée, please?

A Usually, it is best to wait for around two weeks till the cut on your penis has healed up. I would strongly recommend that when you resume sex, you take matters gradually, and use a good lubricant.

Protection against pregnancy

Q If I go on the Pill, how soon would I be protected, doc?

A Provided that you start the initial pack of Pills on the first day of your menses, you should be protected immediately.

Wild night in Kingston

Q I went to Kingston with a group of fellow students, and we all had sex with ladies of the night.

I have no symptoms, doctor, but could I have caught a sexually transmitted infection?

A Well, that is certainly possible. But if you used a condom, the risk would be much less.

However, it would be a wise move to have a check-up from your local doctor.

Send feedback/questions to saturdaylife@gleanerjm.com and read more Doctor's Advice in Outlook tomorrow.