Honouring fathers

ON SUNDAY The Gleaner's cartoonist Las May, stereotypically and seasonally portrayed the missing dad and the dead-beat dad on Fathers' Day. In his cartoon, a minister of religion asks two youths on the corner, "So you guys going to big up your fathers today, Father's Day?", and the response from the first youth is that "Fathers nuh inna ghetto", while the other one stated that, "My mother fathered me". The last comment was perhaps inspired by Edith Clarke's seminal work, My Mother Who Fathered Me.

The other response, "Fathers nuh inna ghetto", could mean that fathers are not to be found there, but are to be found above Liguanea. Or it could be a general remark about fathers missing in action. It is significant that on the day we celebrate fathers, the major depiction of fathers is one of a far-off and failing dad. This is the perennial picture of fathers. If it were child's day, we would not have a picture of children with problems. If it were Mother's Day we would not have a picture of mothers who have abandoned children. So why this constant categorisation of fathers as worthless?

It is due to a misunderstanding of Father's Day. Father's Day is a celebration for all fathers. It is not celebrating a good father only. It is not commemorating some or most fathers. It is all fathers, whether good or bad. Father's Day is not a celebration of the individual father as if there is some competition for world's best father. It is a commemoration of fatherhood and the importance of fatherhood in home, church and society. It is to respect the institution of fatherhood as central to the ordering and functioning of family and society. It is to appreciate the central role of father in the continuance of the human race.

for all fathers

Paradoxically, the cartoonist got it right when in the words of the minister of religion he said, "Father's Day", thereby recognising that it is a day for all fathers and which The Sunday Gleaner's front page insightfully headlined as 'Saluting Fathers'. Father's Day is for all fathers irrespective of performance.

Too often sections within the Church have focused on the mothers and the fathers are marginalised. Mothers are idolised and called perfect. Such exaggeration would not be ascribed to fathers unless at funerals.

The Bible states that we should 'honour our fathers'. Fathers are to be obeyed in the Lord and we ought to submit to their corrections. When we have wronged our fathers, it should be acknowledged. Fathers are to be loved and their shortcomings should not be magnified. They ought to be honoured in thought, word, and deed. They are to be esteemed and spoken of with appreciation. Respect should be shown to all fathers.

And when they have reached a ripe old age, they are to be assisted, and maintained in as comfortable a position as possible. They should be cared for, ensuring that they have food, drink, clothing and shelter. They must not be ignored, but are to be conversed with at an age-appropriate level. They should be visited frequently and different ways of expressing love to them should be found.

Times have changed when honour was given to fathers and mothers slighted. In ancient days, fathers had absolute power over children and spouses. They ruled the roost. Though we should not want to bring back the good old days, with all its excesses, we definitely should honour fathers.

The late Professor Barry Chevannes did pioneering work with Fathers Inc by honouring fathers. Let us continue to honour fathers and fatherhood as central to family life and society.

Rev Devon Dick is pastor of the Boulevard Baptist Church in St Andrew.