Let's talk Life : How can I help my alcoholic mom?

Yvonnie Bailey- Davidson, Contributor

Dear Counsellor,

My mother consumes large volumes of alcohol daily. She is not functioning well at work or at home. She is frequently drunk and becomes boisterous. She can be the nicest person whenever she is not drinking. What can I do to help her?

- Jacqueline

Dear Jacqueline:

It must be frustrating to have to deal with your mother in her drunken state. Your mother must accept that she is having a problem with alcohol. She is not the only person who has a drinking problem. Substance use and abuse issues are a multimillion-dollar business. There are counsellors who specialise in alcoholism and treatment centres to help with the addictions. Is your mother smoking cigarettes or ganja? Many individuals have multiple substance use.

One of the major goals is for your mother to agree for treatment. Treatment is for the long term and she will need the support of family and friends. Alcoholism runs in families and sometimes skips a generation. Research is ongoing into seeking a biological basis for alcoholism.

Many individuals who have a problem with alcoholism are depressed and so, the health issues are compounded. The depression needs to be treated as well as the addiction. Usually, you can take your mother when she is drunk to a detoxification facility for treatment. In a few days, she will be sober and, hopefully, will consider the need for rehabilitation. She will be assessed for physical health issues as alcohol has a deleterious effect on the human body.

alcoholics anonymous

Encourage her to go to alcoholic anonymous meetings as this will help her to confront her problems. She will have a mentor who will help her to deal with her issues. She needs to take responsibility for her drinking problems.

Many people have lost their jobs, families, houses, cars and money because of alcoholism. Try not to enable her drinking and do not feel guilty about her problems. You need to make sure that you are not consumed by your mother's pathology. Seek help for yourself. You need therapy to help you to cope with your mother's alcoholism. You will need skills in how to help her without enabling her.

Remove street people

Dear Counsellor,

I am concerned about the number of street persons on the roadway. Some of them are threatening people and are an eyesore. They are unhygienic and many people are afraid of them. They need to be taken off the streets.

- Lorenzo

Dear Lorenzo:

Many of the street people do not have schizophrenia or bipolar disorder. Some are deportees, others are homeless and others are substance abusers. It requires a national programme to assess the street people, and have them living in residential facilities. It will require the collaboration of various ministries, church groups, non-governmental agencies, families, communities and funding agencies. One of the obstacles to the rehabilitation of street people is the lack of residential facilities. Those that are available are overcrowded and so the streets are the homes for many people.

Some of the homeless have families or are from communities. We need to educate the population about mental illness, homelessness and criminal behaviour. Whenever the basic needs of the street people are met, then we will see a reduction in the number of street people.

Email questions and feedback for Dr Yvonnie Bailey-Davidson to yvonniebd@hotmail.com or call 978-8602.