Let's Talk life - Role reversal

Yvonnie Bailey-Davidson, Contributor

• Role reversal

Dear Counsellor,

I am in a relationship in which I am the main breadwinner. My spouse does the laundry, cook the meals and take care of the children. Some of my friends and family don't like the situation, and said that I should ask him to seek work outside of home. What do you think?

- Sonia

Dear Sonia,

Relationships come in all shapes and sizes. In some relationships there are reversal of traditional roles, and this work very well for those partners. It is all about what you need from a relationship. They are meant to last for a long time. Along the journey of life things change and you might find yourself at home and your spouse at work. Change is constant, and you do not know what will happen in the future. In a family, you need to set goals, and have a budget and implement strategies to ensure that the family is functioning optimally. Your friends and family should embrace your choice if you are comfortable with it.

Money can be a source of conflict in relationships. If the needs of both partners are being met at this time then both should be satisfied.

• I need a divorce

Dear Counsellor,

I have a serious problem. I have been married for eight years, and I am thinking of getting a divorce. We can't agree on issues, and we quarrel a lot. I don't think that I can continue with this marriage.

- Maxine

Dear Maxine,

Marriage can be challenging at times. You will need to see a counsellor to discuss the issues. Make a list of the issues that are causing problems, and decide how getting a divorce will change things. Sometimes the grass seems greener on the other side. All marriages have problems, and partners need to be resilient, and try and work out the issues. Marriage is challenging, and so is divorce.

When you think of divorce you have to think of the children. Children are severely traumatised when their parents divorce. You need to look on the pros and cons, and make a decision. If there is violence between the parents then the situation need to be examined, and something be done to stop the violence. Violence in relationships affects the children.

• Suffering from insomnia

Dear Counsellor,

I have a problem with my sleep. I have difficulty falling asleep early in the nights, and I wake up late in the mornings. I feel tired and sleepy during the day.

- John

Dear John,

Sleep is essential for our survival and well-being. Make an inventory of your days and nights for about three days. What activities are you involved in that will cause you to go to bed late? Ensure that your bed is comfortable, and remove the television from the bedroom. Have fluffy pillows and soft sheets with soothing music. You may be having a medical problem that need to be assessed by your doctor.

Email questions and feedback for Dr Yvonnie Bailey-Davidson to yvonniebd@hotmail.com or call 978-8602.