Vehicular concerns in Irish Town

Toot toot! A green Toyota came speeding up the hill. The driver stuck his hand out the window and pointed in front of him. A woman standing by the side of the road waved him away and the car disappeared around the bend.

The woman was about 40 years old and wearing a long, white dress with a matching scarf wrapped around her head. Her eyes were wide and her chin very pronounced.

I had been walking nearby on the winding hillside road not far from Irish Town in St Andrew. She was standing next to a sign declaring the spot a bus stop, yet she rejected every vehicle that went by.

I went up to her and introduced myself. "Hello," she said, her tone flat. I was going to ask her why she had been turning down all offers of transport, but she didn't appear to be overly chatty, so I opted not to question her right away. Instead, I pretended to be content with simply shooting the breeze alongside her in silence. There was a mile post nearby, signalling that we were 12 miles from Kingston.

After a few minutes, I decided to broach the subject. "You waiting for a bus?" I asked, casually.

The woman looked at me, paying particular attention to my shoes. "Why you ask that? Is what you trying to do?" she asked, seeming agitated. I quickly sought to assure her that I harboured no ill-intent and was simply seeking to satisfy my curiosity.

"Humph!" The woman looked behind me, then in the other direction.

"Mi have to know which vehicle mi teking! Mi not going to tek no vehicle and mek man carry mi weh go kill mi off! Dem too evil!" she declared.

Eager to get on her good side, I emphatically pronounced my agreement with her plan of action.

"Bloodthirsty vagabonds!"

This seemed to win her over.

"In this life, yuh can never be too careful yuh know. You haffi feel di spirit before yuh go into a vehicle," she said.

A minibus approached. The driver tooted the horn. Again, the woman waved the vehicle away.

"Evil force into that bus. Damnation and tribulation," she whispered.

I stood with her for only a few more minutes before deciding to see what was happening further down the road. I wished her luck and took off. "Yuh be careful," she said.

A quick walk took me to a small, pink building with the words Mummy's One Stop crudely painted on the front. A man wearing a white cap was sitting inside. I went up to the window. The man didn't move. I said hello. No response. I tapped on the counter. I realised that the man in the white cap was fast asleep when he started snoring. I decided not to wake him and instead headed further down the road.

It was a lonely roadway but the air was as crisp and fresh as you can imagine. The view of the mountains was spectacular. I passed a seemingly abandoned van and an unmanned handcart next to a pile or rocks.

Willing to help

Someone behind me sneezed. I turned around to find a short, elderly man standing there. He was wearing a pair of black trousers with one foot shorter than the other, and a green T shirt. I greeted him and he smiled. "You car bruck dung?" he asked. I told him no and he chuckled. "Oh, true mi see yuh walking pon di road and mi nuh used to yuh, mi tink maybe yuh car bruck dung and yuh ah walk fi get some assistant," he said.

I thanked him for his concern and explained that I was just enjoying the scenery. "Yeah man, yuh welcome to it," the man said. "God mek di mountains fi everybody so even though we nuh know yuh, yuh welcome to look at dem. Yuh safe around here," he said.

I thanked the man and related my encounter with the woman at the bus stop. "Cho! Nuh pay dat no mind," he said. "Maybe she so fraid fraid because she nuh know di place. Yuh nuh have no worries inna dis place. From here go back to Irish Town, and back di edda way, is just one love wi deal wid. No worries in dis place," he smiled.

Where should Robert go next? Let him know at robert.lalah@gleanerjm.com.

Feedback

The following is feedback to last week's Roving with Lalah.

Very nice piece!

- Suga

Lalah, yu betta dan mi. If strange man tell mi seh when him head stawt hot him, him wi do all kinda tings and nuh memba dem would mek mi run whe so faas not even Usain Bolt cudda ketch mi!

- Jamdel51

Very heartwarming piece.

- Guest

Funny as ever, Lalah!

- Carmen