Doctor's Advice: His girlfriend is blaming him

Q: My girlfriend is blaming me because she has chlamydia. Is this fair, Doc? I have not been with any other woman since I was 17, which was three years ago.

A: Well, I think it is real pointless to BLAME anyone over this question of chlamydia. It is an extremely common 'bug', and it is often very difficult to work out whom it came from.

It's actually possible that you acquired it from another girl when you were 17, and have been 'carrying' it in your urinary piping since then, without getting any symptoms. However, it is also possible that your girlfriend picked it up from some previous boyfriend, and it didn't cause her any problems at the time.

But two things are absolutely certain:

Your girlfriend must have some anti-chlamydia treatment right away;

So must YOU !

What I mean is that if she has it, you probably have it too. Chlamydia can do great harm to people's health in the long run. So see a doc right away, and take the antibiotics that she/he prescribes.

Q: I am female in my early 20s. Very recently, I started on the contraceptive Pill. Since then, I notice that every day I see a few spots of blood. Is this OK, Doc?

A: 'Spotting' is common during the first few packs of the Pill. It is completely harmless.

But if it goes on for more than about three months, you should ask your doc to switch you to a next Pill. You may need a slightly stronger one.

Q: I am a guy of 19, and I am fretting a lot about the fact that when I was 16, I went to bed with another boy, and engaged in what I think is called mutual masturbation. He later died. In the last year or two, I have dated several girls, and have had sex with two of them. It was great. I really like women, and think about them a lot. But what is concerning me, Doc, is that sinful episode when I was 16. I feel guilty about it. I know that people are either heterosexual or homosexual, and that there is some other category in between called bisexual. So do you think I am bisexual?

A: It doesn't sound much like it. In fact, these days most psychologists state that there is a wide range between being straight and being gay. A lot of people are located somewhere along that range, and those who are in the middle of it are often described as bisexual.

However, I feel that your one episode of mutual masturbation when you were 16 doesn't make you bisexual at all. From what you tell me about your current sexual behaviour and interests, I would say that you seem to be pretty much at the heterosexual (straight) end of the spectrum.

Maybe you feel guilty because your poor friend passed away? Obviously, this was not your fault, nor has anything to do with what the two of you did when you were so young.

Try to rid yourself of this irrational guilt, and if necessary see a youth counsellor.

Q: I am a female student of 18, and have only recently lost my virginity. Last week, I had quite vigorous sex with my boyfriend, who does not know very much about the subject. Since then, I have lost a few drops of red blood each day, and that has scared me, Doc. Is this serious? Is it cancer?

A: It is certainly NOT cancer. And I doubt if it is serious.

In a female as young as yourself, the most common cause of bleeding after sex is just a small 'flesh wound'. Usually, this is caused by the partner's fingernail.

However, if the bleeding goes on for another week, I think you should go and have a check-up from a doc.

Q: I am a guy of 19, and a virgin. I am scared of making any approach to a girl because I think that my testicles are too small. When I examine them, they definitely feel on the 'tiny' side. What must I do?

A: Well, fortunately most young guys who think that their testicles are too small turn out to be wrong. Please bear in mind that (presumably) you have not compared your testicles with anyone else's, so it is difficult for you to judge whether they really are tiny.

If it is any help to you, the dimensions of the average testicle are 1.5 inches to two inches in length, and one inch in breadth.

Frankly, there is only one way of solving your problem, and that is for you to go to a sympathetic doc and have him check out your 'equipment'. This does NOT hurt! My guess is that he will say that everything is OK.

Q: I am a guy who is aged 20, and I have been having pains in my knees after playing football. Is this arthritis?

A: That is most unlikely. Although arthritis can occur in young people, it is very rare. But if the pain persists, you should have a doc check you for cartilage problems.

Q: I came home early from college and found my mother (age 45) in bed with a guy who I assume is some sort of boyfriend. I was real shocked. Should I tell my father?

A: This is a dreadful situation for you to find yourself in. I am not sure whether your mother and father are still together. If they are separated or divorced, then things will be easier - because, of course, your mother would be a free agent, and therefore entitled to go to bed with whomever she likes.

But whatever her marital circumstances, I feel it would be a mistake for you to go and tell this story to your father. That could lead to all kinds of fuss and trouble.

Instead, I think you should talk frankly to an older, trusted person, such as a minister, teacher or doctor. Try not to judge your mother too harshly.

Q: I am a young girl, and since I started smoking last month, I have often had a pain in the top part of my belly. Why?

A: Smoking increases stomach acid, and this is liable to cause a pain in the belly. If you continue, you might end up with an ulcer, and that is not a very pleasant thing to have.

So please stop using cigarettes NOW. That should make the pain go away.

Q: After a party last Saturday night, I let an older boy finger my clitoris. I have now been told that he has herpes. Could he have given it to me?

A: I am pleased to say that it is real difficult to transmit herpes by means of finger petting. Nevertheless, I think you would be wise to avoid sexual contact with this guy in the future.

Q: I am female. Would Viagra help me enjoy sex?

A: No. Sadly, Viagra has no worthwhile effect on women. All it does is to increase vaginal lubrication slightly.