Let's talk life

My spouse had a baby two months ago and now she is depressed. She cries a lot and stays in her bed. Her mother, who is living with us, is taking care of the baby. How can I help her?

- Arnold

Dear Arnold,

Baby blues are quite common with new mothers. About 10 per cent of new mothers have depression. It is good that her mother is helping with the baby. Take your wife to the psychiatrist who will prescribe antidepressant and/or antipsychotic drugs. Your wife will require counselling to help her cope with taking care of a baby. You can be supportive by talking with her in a positive manner. Many women get distressed when they cannot control their moods. With treatment the condition can get better. She can discuss the issue of breastfeeding with her psychiatrist. I know that sometimes new mothers want to breastfeed but she will have to think of her health. A healthy mother makes for a healthy baby. Depressed mothers don't interact much with their babies or talk much with them. Let grandma take care of the baby and supervise her daughter.

Bipolar disorder

Dear counsellor,

I have bipolar disorder and I am pregnant. I am concerned about the risk of having an abnormal baby. I am on medication and am scared of coming off my medication.

- Lola

Dear Lola,

I can understand your anxiety. Anti-epileptics are associated with the possibility of having a baby with problems. Anti-epileptics are used as mood stabilisers in the treatment of bipolar disorder. Discuss with your psychiatrist and obstetrician about the need for those medications. If you had a relapse previously when off the medication, then it is not a good idea to come off the antimanic drugs. Your obstetrician will monitor the growth of the baby and do tests to identify whether the baby has problems. Sometimes in life, one has to make decisions that will create problems on one hand and relieve some problems on the other hand. It is a challenging situation and women in their childbearing years are faced with this dilemma. Medication use in pregnancy is like walking a tightrope and management needs a team approach.

Anxiety

Dear counsellor.

I am 18 years old and am going off to college and I am scared. Many thoughts go through my head daily and I wonder if I will be able to cope. I have heard of people having nervous breakdowns or getting depressed or failing courses. I have always done well but I tend to worry a lot.

- Alicia

Dear Alicia,

Going off to college can be lonely and challenging. You will meet new people and new situations. There will be new experiences and you will have to choose wisely. This is new for you but others have gone ahead of you. If others have done it, then you can do it too. Think in a positive way. You have done well in the past, so you will continue to do well. Put God in charge and he will help you. Many students have completed their university studies with honours and distinctions. You will need to organise your time and study well.

Most colleges have a counselling unit so you can visit and discuss stress management and interpersonal relationships. Make good use of the resources available and you will shine.

Email questions and feedback for Dr Yvonnie Bailey-Davidson to yvonniebd@hotmail.com or call 978-8602.