DOCTOR'S ADVICE - I slept with a gigolo

Q: I am a married businesswoman, and I am wondering if I could be pregnant by my lover, even though I am now 44. I operate a successful firm in Kingston, and I have to travel to America about once every 12 weeks. Last month while away, I found myself in a rather 'soul-less' hotel, with nothing to do for the evening. On a stupid impulse, I called an 'escort service', and arranged for a man to come and have dinner with me. He turned out to be a good-looking, quite intelligent young man, and it was fun talking with him. We shared a bottle of wine, and I am embarrassed to tell you that we ended up sleeping together. He had sex with me three times during the night.

We did not use any contraception. I know that was idiotic of me, but I am in the habit of not taking precautions because my husband is sterile. When I returned home I thought nothing of it. On several subsequent nights, I made love with my husband, and found that I enjoyed it more than usual. He commented that I seemed 'unusually lively'. I suppose this was because the encounter with the young man in the states had perked up my sex drive.

However, I have suddenly realised that I have not had my monthly menses, and I am worried. Admittedly, it have been a little irregular in recent years, so maybe there is no need for me to panic! But deep down I am worried. Is there any chance at all that at my age, I could be pregnant?

A: I'm sorry to tell you this, but there is the chance that you are now pregnant. The truth is that a lot of women conceive at your age. The young man is very virile, and having had sex with you several times does increase the chance that you may be pregnant.

However, there is the chance that your husband has impregnated you. You say that he is 'sterile'. But how do you know? Did he have some testicular disease? Or did he undergo a vasectomy at some stage of his life?

By now it is too late for you to take the emergency contraception. So it's quite clear that you must do a pregnancy test immediately. Today, pregnancy tests are highly reliable, provided that you follow the instructions precisely.

If you are indeed pregnant, telling your husband is not going to be easy. Not many men are happy about raising a 'jacket'. One final point. To be blunt, the man you slept with is really a gigolo, or male prostitute. If he is popular, and it sounds like he might be, then he is having sex with a lot of women - or maybe men. So there has to be a chance that he was carrying some form of sexually transmitted infection (STI). Therefore, you must get yourself tested for STIs as soon as you can. Good luck.

Q: I am a single man who has masturbated several times a day in the past. Could this be harmful to my health?

A: There is no way that this could do any harm to your health. But are you having difficulty in forming relationships with women? If so, why not get yourself some counselling or life coaching?

Q:My wife is about to go on hormone replacement therapy. Does this work as a contraceptive?

A Definitely not.

Q: I am a 31 year-old man, and my problem is that sometimes I get erections when I am not even thinking about sex. It just happens out of the blue, like when I am working or travelling. Is there something wrong with me? And should I get some treatment?

A:Most fairly highly sexed men do get what are termed 'spontaneous erections' sometimes. That is particularly common in very young adults, but it does also happen in men who are in their 30s. Sometimes it is provoked by some unnoticed stimulus, like the clothes rubbing against the penis. Also, unexpected erections are common while travelling because of the vibration of the vehicle. So I hope you can see that there is nothing wrong with you, and that you certainly do not need any treatment.

Q: I have had a pain in my belly recently, and it has been quite bad. I went to a doctor, and he did some tests. Then he told me I have an ulcer, and that it was all due to something called 'helicopter'. Can you please explain? This is rather puzzling.

A: The word he said wasn't helicopter. It was 'helicobacter'. Helicobacter is the name of a germ. About 22 years ago, it was discovered that this 'bug' is the main cause of ulcers in the stomach (that is, gastric ulcers), and also of duodenal ulcers.

Before then, doctors had no idea that ulcers were linked to any germ. Anyway, the good thing about this discovery was that eradication of the helicobacter germ will cure the ulcer. To do this, you have to take a special course of antibiotics, together with a drug called a 'proton pump inhibitor'. It is very important to complete this course, and not miss any doses. If you do not do this, the germs may persist, and the ulcer may return.

Q:I am a 37 year-old woman and every time I have sex, I get an infection in my vagina. It first started with an ex-boyfriend, who was very wild. After that, I was single for a year and had no infections at all. But now I just started talk to a new man and whenever I have sex with him I get an infection. It leaves me very chafed and sore. Please help me.

A:Sorry to hear about this. Sounds like whatever problem you had with your ex got better, and you remained OK while you were not having sex. Your new outbreak could be due to a number of several infections:

• Candida ('yeast');
  
• Trichomonas;
  
• Bacterial vaginosis ('BV');
  
• Possibly chlamydia.

What you should do now is to find a doctor who can do some simple tests on your vaginal secretions to find out which of those conditions you have. She can then give you the right antibiotic to cure you. Your new boyfriend may also need treatment.

Q:I have a new man, who wants me to do oral sex. Is it true that this is bad for the teeth, Doctor?

A No, that is not true.

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