Doctor's Advice - Is my husband becoming a woman?

Q. Could you help my husband and I doctor? He fears that he is turning into a woman. Our problems started last year when a doctor prescribed some vaginal hormone cream for me. I use it twice a day, and it seems like it has a very good effect on the health of my genital area.

But at the end of 2010, my husband started noticing that he was getting swellings behind his nipples. By Easter this year, he had developed little breasts. He has been pretty upset by this, and tries to hide them when he is wearing a tee shirt.

He has talked to me about the swellings, but he does not like me to look at his 'breasts'. Recently, I confided this story to a nurse who is a friend of mine. She told me that female 'HRT' inserted into the vagina can affect a man and kind of 'feminise' him, and maybe take away his nature. Is that true, Doctor?

A.  It was a good thing that you talked with the nurse. Yes, it is true that female hormone creams or vaginal tablets can be absorbed by the woman's partner through the skin of his penis. When that happens, the usual result is that the man develops little 'man boobs'. However, I do not know of any cases in which the male has lost his ability to get erections, or developed other female qualities - such as a high-pitched voice.

It is a pity that the side effect of the male having enlarged breasts occurs, because otherwise, vaginal hormone cream is a very good treatment. It refreshes the walls of the vagina, and returns them to a more youthful texture. It also increases natural lubrication. So for women who are in their late 30s, 40s or 50s, it is often useful in making intercourse more comfortable, or for taking away any pain. It can also help with some urinary problems.

I think that you and your husband should go to your doctor together, and ask her to check out these swellings. I guess she will rapidly be able to confirm that they are caused from exposure to female hormones. She may then prescribe another course of treatment for you, or advise that you try using the hormone cream only on days when you know that you are not going to have sex with your husband.

Another possibility in these cases is for the man to make sure that he uses a condom. The female hormones will not pass through latex. But rest assured that as soon as your husband is no longer exposed to the hormone cream, his breasts will start to go down. My forecast is that within three months, his breasts will return to normal.

Q. My wife and I are both 35 years old. How often should we be having sex?

A .There is no 'should' about it. Couples should make love as often as they wish, there are no absolute rules. However, if it is any help to you, extensive research in America suggests that the average couple in your age group tend to have sex around twice per week.

Q. My husband has been away on business in another country. When he came back yesterday, I noticed that he did not seem to want to take off his clothes in front of me. Eventually I discovered why. I 'sneaked a peek' at his body while he was asleep, and his genitals had been painted by someone. Although the colour is fading, it seems to be bright blue! What is going on, Doctor? Has he caught a sexually transmitted infection (STI)?

A.  Well, in the past in Jamaica, doctors use to put a therapeutic 'paint' called gentian violet on people's genitals. It's possible that this is still being used by doctors in the country which your husband visited. However, it isn't a treatment for STI. Traditionally, it has been used to cure fungal infections, like thrush - which many people in Jamaica call yeast.

So my best guess is that your husband has had a fungus infection of his penis and/or scrotum while he was abroad. This does not imply that he has been unfaithful to you. However, it is a little odd that he has not told you about the treatment, and has tried to hide the 'blue' appearance from you. I feel you just have to ask him what has been happening. And I don't think you should have sex with him until he has explained.

Q. I would like to get my wife pregnant, but we don't know what is the best day on which to try, Doctor. Can you please advise?

A. Generally, the best time is around 14 to 15 days before her period is due. But individuals vary. You and your wife could probably pinpoint her ovulation day more accurately by getting an ovulation kit from the pharmacy.

Q I have been married for 10 years, and I thought my husband and I had a great sex life. But the other day, I caught him gazing at a website called 'Breast Orgy'. When I remonstrated with him, he was ashamed and admitted that he does like looking at large breasts. This made me very sad because I have very small breasts. Do you think I should get an operation to enlarge them? I could afford it.

A. I am sorry that you have been distressed. The plain fact is that a lot of men do like looking at large breasts. In private conversation between males, they will sometimes say things like 'I am a breast man, myself'.

This common masculine obsession may seem rather foolish. However, when typed into a search engine, those two words you mentioned turn up no fewer than 21 million websites. But, honestly, I think it would be crazy to have your breasts enlarged just because your husband likes looking at big breasts. This surgery involves a lot of pain and discomfort, and sometimes there are complications, like heavy bleeding. Talk this matter over carefully with your husband. He may well tell you that he loves you a lot, and that your breasts are fine as they are.

Q. I am having a lot of mental issues. I have no sex drive, and no sense of direction. I have been through a lot of emotional drama recently, but what else could cause these symptoms?

A. Your recent emotional trauma could easily cause the distressing symptoms you mentioned. From the limited amount of information you have given me, I feel that you should try to see a psychologist or a psychiatrist very soon. Good luck.

Send questions to editor@gleanerjm.com. Read more Doctor's Advice in the Saturday Gleaner.