Doctor's ADVICE: Should I be like Sophia?

HELLO DOC, I am a secretary age 21. I am very worried about my sexual responses because I fear I may be abnormal. I have only been with two guys in my life, and I have taken care to practise safe sex. I thought I had no problems, but my last lover, who was a rather arrogant young man, said to me one night, 'So you don't ejaculate then?' I asked him what he meant, and he replied: "Surely you know that women are supposed to ejaculate when they climax?" Then he showed me a novel from his personal pornographic collection. He had underlined a sentence which read: "The beautiful Sophia leaned back on the bed and climaxed, sending a jet of fluid into the air as she did so." I was truly horrified by this, Doc. There is no way that I ever produce any fluid when I orgasm. So am I seriously abnormal?

No, you are not abnormal at all. Frankly, this guy doesn't know what he is talking about.

The widespread male belief that women ought to ejaculate whenever they orgasm goes back hundreds of years. It occurs in many pornographic novels. Frankly, whoever wrote these foolish books must have had practically no knowledge of women.

The truth is that the great majority of females do not ejaculate when they climax. In a massive piece of research carried out in the United States of America in which several hundred females discharged in a sex laboratory, none of them was noted to have ejaculated.

Admittedly, it is true that a small proportion of women do ejaculate some fluid when they orgasm. That is normal for them. But they are in the minority.

So you are perfectly OK. And you should pay this arrogant young man no mind!

Whenever I try to use a condom with my fiancée, I immediately lose my erection. Why is this happening to me, Doc?

This phenomenon is very common. It is called condom collapse.

It occurs almost entirely in young men, rather than older ones, and it is caused merely by the anxiety at the moment of trying to put the condom on. So you have no need to fret.

Many sex experts say that the best remedy for this problem is to ask your partner to put the condom on you. Usually, this produces such an intense psychological stimulus that the guy is able to maintain his erection.

I am planning to become sexually active with my boyfriend, but definitely with nobody else! So I would like to go on the Pill. But I do not understand how to take it, Doc. Do you just swallow one every time you have sex?

No, it doesn't work like that. With most brands of the Pill, there are 21 tablets in a pack. You take one each day, so the packet lasts for three weeks.

At the end of those three weeks, you have a week's break. During that break, your menses will arrive. It is stopping the Pill at the end of the three weeks that brings on the period.

After the week's break, you start on a new pack. And so it goes on throughout the year - three weeks on, and one week off. It is a good idea to keep a note of everything in a diary or on a calendar. Or these days, you can programme some mobile phones to remind you when to take the Pill.

I am 22, and last week I had a sexual encounter with a girl in Spanish Town. Now I notice a curious moisture around the tip of my organ. Should I be concerned about this?

Well, if there is anything liquid, like little drops, coming out of the tip of your penis, that strongly suggests an infection.

The possible culprits could be chlamydia or gonorrhoea - or perhaps both. So it is important that you see a doctor right away, and have this 'moisture' tested. In the meantime, please do not have sex with anyone.

At the age of 18, I lost one tube due to an ectopic pregnancy. Have I any hope of motherhood, Doc?

Yes. If the other Fallopian tube is OK, you should be able to conceive. Good luck!

Q: I noticed where you reassured a young guy whose breast was swollen. You said it was real unlikely to be cancer. However, I am rather concerned about my father, who is 45. He has told me in confidence that his right nipple has become greatly enlarged in recent weeks. Is there any chance that this is due to anything serious, Doctor?

Unfortunately, yes. Cancer of the breast does sometimes occur in middle-aged men, and in elderly ones too.

I cannot say what is wrong with your father, but he must see a doctor right away. This is urgent.

Greetings. I am a 19-year-old female. I have been having some 'bump' problems on my private parts for a long time. When I squeeze them, pus comes out, and then they bleed and hurt me. One doctor says it is cysts. My mum says they look like boils to her. They are quite hard, and they pain me at times. It makes me frustrated because the problem won't go away. Please help.

These sound like infected hair follicles, which are common in young people's pubic regions. The doctor who said they are cysts is correct because the word cyst means any kind of fluid-filled cavity in the body. But it this case, the fluid is pus.

The most important thing you can do is not to squeeze these bumps. Squeezing will just spread the infection. Instead, you should get a mild skin disinfectant from the pharmacy and apply it three times for the day.

If you don't squeeze them, these painful bumps will eventually go away.

I have just met a girl who is offering me oral sex. Could I get any diseases from doing this?

Oral sex can sometimes transmit gonorrhoea (the clap) and chlamydia. Occasionally, it can pass on other infections such as syphilis.

Therefore, think carefully before you take up this young lady on her offer.

Hi Doc. I am 21 years old and two months ago I had an abortion. And last month, I think my boyfriend ejaculated inside me. Seven days later, I did a pregnancy test, and it was negative. But I think I might be pregnant, because I feel that way. My period is now a day late. I am really worried, because I am not ready for a child as I want to attend college.

Sorry to hear about all this. The pregnancy test which you have done was performed too soon. Now that your menses are overdue, you must do another one. This time, the result should be accurate.

Please do not take any more risks with your health. You have already had an abortion, and now you are taking chances again. In the future, never have unprotected sex.

Email questions to Doc at saturdaylife@gleanerjm.com and read more in the Outlook Magazine tomorrow.