Doctor's Advice: I am interested in neither men nor women

Q Doctor, I am a guy of 21, and I must tell you frankly that I do not have the slightest interest in women. I can imagine what you are thinking, but I can assure you that I am not 'gay' either. The male body has no appeal for me.

The fact is, I find the entire idea of sex absolutely crazy. I don't want to do it, and when my friends talk about it, I am just bored.

I have tried masturbation a couple of times. I can report that I seem to be able to reach an orgasm, so presumably, my 'equipment' is in working order. However, I didn't find it interesting or exciting.

One day, I would like to have children. But I cannot imagine myself wanting to have sexual intercourse, except for the purpose of conceiving a baby.

My friends laugh at me. But I am quite happy. I would simply like your reassurance that I don't have any medical disorder, or need treatment. Thank you.

A. Well, the fact is that in this world, the great majority of males are heterosexual and like to have sex with women. A small minority of guys are homosexuals and like the idea of sex with other men.

But there is a much smaller group of males who are what is termed asexual. In other words, they really have no interest in sex at all. This appears to apply to you.

Asexual people, whether male or female, generally seem to be quite happy with their lives. They are often able to dedicate themselves to hard work, and some of them do a lot of good for their communities. They are not distracted by 'affairs of the heart', and of course they don't have to fret about the traumatic experiences which often go with an active sex life. In particular, they don't create unwanted babies, and they don't get sexually transmitted infections.

Why are asexual people the way they are? This is difficult to say. I have encountered one or two who were rather lacking in sex hormones. Others seem to have decided in childhood that sexual relationships just cause too many problems in life, and are better left alone.

In your case, I suggest that if you are happy with being an asexual guy, then that is fine. No one is obliged to be interested in sex!

I feel that if I were in your situation, I would go to a doctor and ask for a blood test to ensure that the hormones were OK. But in view of what you say about your ability to reach a sexual climax, my guess is that your hormone levels are probably all right.

I wish you well with your life. You will certainly have less troubles and worries than a lot of men of your age.

Q. Hi, Doc. I am an 18-year-old female student and I am still a virgin. But last night, for the first time in my life, I had real heavy petting with a guy. I made it clear to him that there is no way I am giving up my virginity.

However, today I find that I'm real sore in my intimate parts, and this is making me fret. I could not go to my doctor about this, but I have been aware of it all day long.

Do you think I have caught some kind of infection from his hands?

A . First of all, congratul-ations on maintaining your virginity! I hope you continue to do so. You will be a lot safer that way! Now, what a lot of young women do not realise is that it is normal to feel pretty sore in the genital area after a session of energetic petting. This feeling is due to unaccustomed friction, and it does not indicate that anything bad has happened.

It is most unlikely that that you have caught any kind of sexually transmitted infection.

My forecast is that your soreness will gradually go away over the next five-six days. If by any chance it does not, then you will have to overcome your embarrassment and go for a check with a doctor.

The main reason for seeing the doctor would be to ensure that you have not picked up a yeast infection. However, I believe that that is not very probable.

Q.  My mother knows that I am having sex with my boyfriend and has suggested that I go on the Mini-Pill. Do you think this would be a good idea, Doc? Trouble is, I'm not very good at remembering to take tablets!

A.  Then I do not think you should go on the Mini-Pill. This medication, which is also known as the Progestogen-Only Pill, or 'POP', is very good for a lot of women. But you don't have a lot of margin for error with it. In other words, if you are late in taking your Mini-Pill, you may well wind up pregnant.

So I think you would be wiser to choose the ordinary Pill. This has a lower failure rate (i.e. pregnancy rate) than the Mini-Pill. And if you forget to take it exactly on time, you will usually be OK.

Q.  I am a guy of 19. I have an English girlfriend, and she has suggested to me that I should have one of those vasectomy things. How could I get one?

A.  You couldn't. Maybe your girlfriend was joking. Vasectomy is in effect a permanent form of sterilisation, and no surgeon, anywhere in the world, is going to do it on a guy of 19. Why not consider it again when you are 39?

Q.  I have a new boyfriend. All my friends say he is weird, or a little odd, but I like him. And he says he loves me. But I find one thing disturbing. When we are in the sack, he always wants to introduce living creatures into out love life.

For instance, he will bring spiders or beetles into our bed. And last night, he wanted to introduce a cat.

A What next? A dog? Or a galliwasp, perhaps? Seriously, this guy is sexually kinky. He could be treated by a psychologist to try and cure him of this strange interest in animals, but that would take a long time.

To be honest, I feel that you should dump him and find yourself a more normal boyfriend.

Q My guy and I have been trying to have a baby for eight months without any success. Could it be something terribly wrong with me?

A.  I doubt you have anything terrible. But either you or he could have a fertility problem. I suggest that both of you go and see a doctor. One of the first things that should be done is a sperm count on your boyfriend.

Q.  I endlessly keep getting vaginal discharges caused from yeast. Why?

A.  It could be that you have 'sugar'. So get a diabetes test right away.

Email questions to Doc at saturdaylife@gleanerjm.com and read more in the Outlook Magazine tomorrow.