Tree-buying time again!

"Is alright, mum. Mi soon set it up," he said. The woman appeared unamused.

I was standing nearby, next to a traffic light along Constant Spring Road in St Andrew, watching what is perhaps the best-known spot for buying real Christmas trees in this part of the country. As they always are this time of year, dozens of Christmas trees were stacked along the sidewalk in front of a shopping plaza. It was early on a Sunday morning and the tree-buying crowd was out in full force.

The vendors, most of whom were from Penlyne Castle in the Blue Mountains, were working hard to keep up with the demand.

The man who had dropped the tree (for the third time), had been noticeably struggling with keeping his customer, a woman of about 50 years, satisfied. She had a pronounced forehead and wore a grey T-shirt and black skirt.

"Why yuh don't trim it neater than that?" she complained as the man did some final pruning.

"Cho mummy, man. Mi just ah line it up likkle!" the man replied with a nervous smile. The woman snorted.

"Why yuh don't cut di bottom straighter than that?" she said.

The tree fell again.

"Tee hee!" someone next to me snickered.

I turned to find a red shirt-wearing fellow smiling. He told me his name was Jason and that he was also selling trees.

"Wi come out here about two weeks now. Wi work all year, but is only now wi really make any money," he said. Jason is from Penlyne Castle and, like most of the other vendors, grows the trees on a farm in the hills.

"Yes man. Wi put in nuff work. Nuff fertiliser and ting. It tek 'bout four years fi one tree grow," he said.

"Hello please!" a woman interjected. She had a black bag in her right hand and her shoes were pointy at the front.

"Ah looking a tree to buy," she said.

"Yes man! Any tree yuh want wi have it," Jason replied.

"Listen to mi," the woman cut him off. "I don't want anyone to trick mi. I don't want no expensive tree. I is no idiot!" she said.

I walked off, leaving Jason to attend to her.

A man walking with the aid of a stick came up to me. "Yuh buying a tree today, young man?" he asked. I told him I wasn't.

"Mi neither," he replied. "But I like to come out here and smell di tree dem. Nothing nuh smell nice like fresh pine tree," the man said before taking a deep whiff. I did the same, but didn't smell anything. I pretended that I did when the man looked at me.

"Yes, man. Yuh si how it nice?" he said. I nodded.

A woman wearing an apron called out to me.

"Any tree today?" she asked. I walked up to her. After chatting with her for a while, I asked if she was from Penlyne Castle.

"Yes man. Yuh know di place?" she asked. I told her that I did but haven't been there often because of how far it is from, well, everything.

"Hee hee!" she chuckled.

"It really fur! Dat's why wi come town fi look fi yuh. Tee hee!"

Where should Robert go next? Let him know at robert.lalah@gleanerjm.com.