DOCTOR'S ADVICE - Too much sex?

Q. Doctor, is it possible for a couple in their 40s to have so much sex that it becomes bad for their health?

A. No, that is not possible, so you don't have to worry.

Q Do the positions in which a couple has sex affect their chances of conception?  My husband and I are both 28, and we have been trying to conceive for three months. A friend of mine has told me that a lot depends on the positions when having sex. She was not too sure about the details, but she thought that some foreign expert had found out the best position for conceiving a baby.

A. Well, many years ago, the famous United States sex researchers Masters and Johnson stated in a best-selling textbook that they had found the answer to this. They said that it all depended on whether the woman's womb was retroverted.

But what does being retroverted mean? Well, in most females, the womb points forward. In other words, if you could see it, you would note that it points towards the lower part of your belly, just where the pubic hair is.

But around 15 per cent of women have what is called retroverted wombs. This means that their womb points backward, in the general direction of the top of the buttocks. Incidentally, if a woman's womb is retroverted, that is nothing to worry about. It is not a disease. It is rather like being left-handed.

Now, Masters and Johnson did many extraordinary experiments in which people had sex in the laboratory. The conclusions they reached were as follows:

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  If a woman's womb is not retroverted, then her best chance of conceiving is achieved by lying flat on her back, with a pillow under her buttocks and knees raised. They added that she should stay in that position for around 15 minutes after intercourse.
  
  
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  If a woman's womb is retroverted, then what she should do is to have sex in a kneeling position, with her partner behind her. Again, she should stay in that position for around 15 minutes after the man's orgasm.

M & J said that the objective of all this was to make sure that the woman's cervix - the neck of her womb - remained dipped in a pool of seminal fluid at the top of the vagina for a good quarter of an hour.

Many doctors and midwives accepted the advice of Masters and Johnson. But since then, very little research has been done in order to confirm that their theory is correct.

Nevertheless, assuming that your womb points the normal way, I would advise you to follow the Masters-Johnson doctrine. When you are trying to get pregnant, lie on your back with knees raised, and a pillow under the bottom. After your husband has orgasmed, please stay like that for a quarter of an hour.

How would you find out whether you have retroverted womb? Well, that would require an internal examination by a doctor. But as you can see from the figure I have quoted above, most women do not have a retroverted womb. Therefore, their best chance of conception is likely to be when flat on the back.

Finally, I note that you and your husband have only been trying for three months. That is not a very long time. So I think you should continue trying for another six months before you need to seek medical advice.

In the meantime, I strongly advise you to have sex around your ovulation day, which is usually around two weeks before your period is due.

Q. I am a 26 year-old man. I work tremendously hard, sometimes sitting up late doing paperwork. But recently, my sexual performance has not been too good. There have been evenings where I simply could not get an erection, even though my girlfriend begged me to make love to her. Do you think that these 'failures' are connected with overwork?

A. Almost certainly. The human body does have its limits, you know. And if people work far too hard, then things start to go wrong with the body. And very often, it is the sexual function that suffers. If possible, I would like you to have a good check-up by a doctor. But I am pretty sure that he will say that you need to take life much easier. Once you do that, your sex life should return to normal.

Q. As a successful 31-year-old businesswoman, I have not yet had time for children. But is it true that a woman's fertility declines during her 30s?

A. Yes, but not too rapidly. You could still expect to be pretty fertile at 34 or 35. There is a special test which can tell you how many eggs (ova) you have left in your ovaries. But it is very expensive, and very difficult to obtain, unless you went to the United States or England. Please bear in mind that if pregnancy occurs after about the age of 35, the health risks to both mother and baby do start to slowly increase.

Q. I am a single man in my late 40s. I travel in my work. To be honest with you, doctor, I have several girlfriends in various parts of the island. I would like to know if there is any risk that I might have picked up syphilis during any of my sexual encounters with them.

A. When a man contracts syphilis, he usually knows that something is wrong. He develops an odd 'bump' on his male organ, which breaks down into a painless ulcer. That symptom occurs between 10 and 90 days after exposure to the germ during sex with an infected person. So if you haven't noticed any symptoms, I think it unlikely that you have syphilis. Nevertheless, you could, if you wish, take a simple blood test, which any doctor could arrange for you.

Q. Although I am pregnant, I am afraid that things have not been going too well with my husband. So last week, I took the risk of having sex with a handsome American man who is here on vacation. But now I am beginning to worry. Could this 'affair' have harmed the baby?

A. Fortunately, that is unlikely - unless this man had a form of VD. But having sex with another man puts your relationship with your husband at great risk. May I urge you to seek marital counselling right away. Maybe you could try and get your marriage problems sorted out before the baby is born.

Q. My wife wants me to give her oral sex, but I am not so keen. To be frank, doctor, I don't like the taste. Any suggestions?

A. Cunnilingus (oral sex performed on the female) is not to every man's liking. But you could do it using a special 'barrier' called a 'dental dam'. You can buy these through the Internet.

Send questions to: editor@gleanerjm.com and read more Doctor's Advice in the Saturday Gleaner.